My ex is lying on dating sites!


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Big_Hearted is offline Big_Hearted Post #1  May 22,2009, 8:50pm
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feels it's just too complicated. lol

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My ex is on dating sites and he is lying about everything but his name. He's an alchoholic claiming he never drinks. (He is capable of stopping for short periods of time.) Virtually everything he says is untrue. He actually learned off of me, from the reasons I left him, how to better lie to make himself look like a decent person. ex: He wasn't there for me for the last 9 mo. unless it was for him or about him so now he says he "dedicates himself to his close relationships to make them a success."

Before you say it, I broke it off with him just shy of our 2nd. year because he turned out to be a fake. He's a habitual liar and it kills me that some poor woman is going to end up suckered in just like I was. I know there really is nothing I can do but his using these sites to lure unsuspecting women who will look back with deep regret, if they fall for it like I did,. upsets me something terrible. He's very good at hiding things and covering it all up for quite some time before you realize this isn't the person you began with. I hate that even one woman will have to go through what I did.
Last edited by Big_Hearted; May 22,2009 at 11:10pm.
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #2  May 23,2009, 10:42am
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How common do you think deception is?
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #3  May 23,2009, 11:14am
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post deleted
Last edited by noseyparker; May 23,2009 at 12:42pm. Reason: view may not be what the OP wants to hear
 
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Big_Hearted is offline Big_Hearted Post #4  May 23,2009, 2:48pm
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feels it's just too complicated. lol

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I think deception is pretty common unfortunately. How many people do you think answer how they want to be and not how they actually are? Possibly even with the intent of making those changes.
 
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Big_Hearted is offline Big_Hearted Post #5  May 23,2009, 3:02pm
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feels it's just too complicated. lol

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That's not including the areas we are just clueless about ourselves. We might honestly think we're one way and the entire world would say no, nope, not a chance, you are actually this way.
 
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angelwhts2 is offline angelwhts2 Post #6  June 2,2009, 3:37am
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I meant someone just like that so it seemed, we would chat and talk on the phone and planned to meet but always used his kids as an excuse. He told me up front that he is a recovering alcoholic, I am a nurse, I know you never really recover, your are more or less in submission, thankfully it did not go anywhere. We were in different states, and I have meant someone else since.
 
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Dafearon is offline Dafearon Post #7  June 2,2009, 6:07am
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I glazed over the profile for the most part. I expect people to lie. Its not necessarily malevolent. I think people see themselves differently than they really are.

Example. Your ex was an alcoholic. But maybe, since then, he's decided to stop drinking. You ex sees that he's a recovering alcoholic, so puts "never" in the profile. But maybe he slips as many recovering alcoholics do. He's not going to change his profile, he's just going to let it go. So technically, he didn't lie, from a certain point of view.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  June 2,2009, 6:53am
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I think most people are reasonably honest in their profiles. Those that do lie eventually learn the hard way that it does not work out for them in the end.

As for your ex, I tend to agree with Dafearon. In your ex's eyes he is not lying. Also, what happened between the two of you and the differences that you had, have little relevance to the next woman and her capacity to read him and handle things.
 
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lil_lamb is offline lil_lamb Post #9  June 2,2009, 7:31am
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well, i hear you. i think your ex needs help (and the women he'll pursue) - but here's the thing: not from you. he needs detached professional help. problems like this are draining on detached professionals as it is; it is beyond the resources of the ordinary individual.

as for lying... we are all blind to ourselves.
 
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txbubba is offline txbubba Post #10  June 2,2009, 9:09am

is not out of his mind - just out of bullets

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this must be along the lines of women posting 10 year old pictures of themselves
 
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