txbubba is offline txbubba Post #1  May 16,2009, 7:23am

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Why do people make statements or hold belief systems that include ideas such as "My date has to be THIS tall"... "My date has to have ___ kind of job/income", "My date has to have ____ level of education", "My date had to be ____ thin/skinny" etc etc etc and them come here to complain that they can't find a date?
 
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snackynak is offline snackynak Post #2  May 16,2009, 8:08am
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Well, why do some people like chocolate ice cream, some like vanilla and some like both? Everyone kind of has their own tastes when it comes to a partner, that's just the way it is, its human nature baby :P
As for the complaining, I'm going to guess human nature again, because when we don't get what we want, we complain.
 
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tbesq is offline tbesq Post #3  May 16,2009, 10:24am
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Because people don't always step outside of themselves to see how they sound. I would prefer that, instead of women simply saying, "Why can't I find any good men?", they said instead, "Why can't I find any [fill in the desirable attributes] men?" That way, I (believing myself to be a decent guy), don't get lumped in with the men that they want and can't seem to find. Same goes for men who do this.

It's a given that many people could stand to broaden their horizons when it comes to finding a partner. But that can only happen when that individual wants it to happen, not by the board members or anyone else trying to persuade them that their preferences are wrong.
Last edited by tbesq; May 16,2009 at 11:38am.
 
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notamaninpower is offline notamaninpower Post #4  May 16,2009, 11:07am
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tbesq wrote :
Because people don't always step outside of themselves to see how they sound. I would prefer that, instead of women simply saying, "Why can't I find any good men?", they said instead, "Why can't I find any [fill in the desirable attributes] men?" That way, I (believing myself to be a decent guy), don't get lumped in with the men that they want and can't seem to find. Same goes for men who do this.

It's a given that many people could stand to broaden their horizons when it comes to finding a partner. But that can only happen when that individual wants it to happen, not but the board members or anyone else trying to persuade them that their preferences are wrong.

GREAT post, tbesq!!
I have also often wondered exactly what IS their definition of a "good man". An outright wealthy beyond compare, devoutly loyal, unfailingly attentive, has looks that makes Brad Pitt seem like a dog, stand-up comedian, prince charming maybe?!?
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #5  May 16,2009, 11:59am
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Why not ask the particular woman? Or ask one of your female friends who has been complaining? You might be surprised at what you discover.

notamaninpower wrote :
GREAT post, tbesq!!
I have also often wondered exactly what IS their definition of a "good man". An outright wealthy beyond compare, devoutly loyal, unfailingly attentive, has looks that makes Brad Pitt seem like a dog, stand-up comedian, prince charming maybe?!?
 
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twolatesmart is offline twolatesmart Post #6  May 16,2009, 12:05pm
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I'll tell you what a good man is. It has nothing to do with looks. Looks are like pretty wrapping paper that gets hurriedly tossed away for what's inside. Look it it that way and it is much better. One of my closest past relationships was with a guy who called himself "ugly in a cute sort of way." But he treated me like fine jewelry and it was fabulous.
 
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natka is offline natka Post #7  May 16,2009, 4:58pm
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because it's a lot easier to reject people like that. we spend years trying to figure out who we are and what we want and we also look for certain things in a person of the opposite sex. it's also a lot easier to complain then to talk to the person face to face.
 
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meri75 is offline meri75 Post #8  May 17,2009, 3:18am
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I get very upset with my friends, because they will insist on trying to pair me off to a man who doesn't work and doesn't have - nor want to have - children. I actually overheard one of my female friends once, 'don't worry, she (meaning me) earns enough to look after you both'. Little wonder I was ropeable on that memorable occasion So yes, I guess it sounds like I'm whinging wrt this topic.
 
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beloved0000 is offline beloved0000 Post #9  May 17,2009, 5:09am
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"My date has to be THIS tall"... "

Because I'm a tall woman and don't like being taller than my man

"My date has to have ____ level of education"

Ignorance is a personal pet peeve of mine

"My date had to be ____ thin/skinny"

Don't want skinny, but don't want over weight either. I take care of myself, I expect the same in return. Health, personal eating habits, hygiene, orderliness, personal habits in general are listed among "must haves and can't stands."

Even they (EH) recognize this as a relationship breaker.

"My date has to have ___ kind of job/income"

no job, no date, no way...I might add, no car, ummm....no

Let me ask YOU something...are you so desperate to be in a relationship that you will compromise your own needs/desires to take whatever you can get?

The only men I have heard those words come out of their mouth were short, fat, unkept and didn't have a very good paying job.

Waa waa waa

In short, I'd rather be single than compromise.
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #10  May 17,2009, 4:22pm
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I can assure the OP that not all women have such exacting standards. The woman of quality places far less emphasis on externalities. There are well educated, sophisticated women who are interested in a man's inner qualities first.
 
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