How to Deal with an Embarrassing Family

How to Deal with an Embarrassing Family

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How to Deal with an Embarrassing Family


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eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  April 23,2008, 1:29pm

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No one has the perfect family. In fact, most of us can count a few colorful characters as relatives. If you are introducing your new significant other to your clan, read this first.
 
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argytunes is offline argytunes Post #2  April 23,2008, 1:59pm
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This is probably going to sound a little selfish...but here goes:

If your family REALLY embarrasses you....KEEP 'EM OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP! At least until you've arrived at the "WE'RE REALLY SERIOUS ABOUT EACH OTHER" stage!

Obviously...if you have children from a previous marriage, you're gonna have to let them in on the fact that you're dating or at least GOOD FRIENDS with someone else! But discussing your dating habits or even coercing a complete stranger to join your family for church and/or Sunday Dinner isn't necessary. Especially if you have apprehensions about "AUNT MILLIE" or "UNCLE ERNIE" and the way they behave?? [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif[/img]

argytunes
 
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Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #3  April 23,2008, 2:08pm

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Argy, I couldn't agree more. No need for family involvement in most cases early on.
 
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Znayesh is offline Znayesh Post #4  April 23,2008, 4:48pm
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Geez - everyone has a dysfunctional family, don't they? I mean, if you don't, you're dysfunctional, right? I've foundthere arethings that can absolutely mortify me about my family which are humorous and actually quite endearing to others...because they're not their family. They're just as mortified about their family members' behavior. (grammar checkers ~ did I get my homophone usage correct?)

Now, with that said, early in the relationship, one should certainly keep seriously mortifying family member behavior under close wraps lest the new love interest run screaming from the room. If they're trying to decide whether or not you've got potential for long-term and maybe even marriage eventually - mom wigging out over the color of the table cloth not matching the curtains because she didn't take her anti-anxiety med that day might have a potential mate visualizing the epitomy of the horrid 'mother-in-law' and then you'll never see them again. But, you 'can' check with dad earlier in the day and make sure mom takes her anti-anxiety med...which could make things much more manageable. [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif[/img]

Whatever you do...enjoy! If you're not 'mortified' by their behavior and can sit back and relax, laugh it off, consider it perfectly normal (you mean there's pink elephant in the living room????), chances are your potential love interest will match your response. Don't feel like you have to explain every little behavior either...that just makes you more nervous and then your love interest will begin to be more nervous and it just goes down hill from there. (hmmm....does it sound like I have experience with this???) Not MY family! We're perfectly normal! Besides...who's going to find out? I put3,000 miles between me andthem! We've got pink elephants the size of the midwest where I come from [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-cool.gif[/img]

Most of this post is just fun stuff...creative writing.

Enjoy!
~Z [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-kiss.gif[/img]
 
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Tinderbox is offline Tinderbox Post #5  April 23,2008, 9:27pm
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Znayesh,88320 wrote :

Geez - everyone has a dysfunctional family, don't they? I mean, if you don't, you're dysfunctional, right? I've foundthere arethings that can absolutely mortify me about my family which are humorous and actually quite endearing to others...because they're not their family. They're just as mortified about their family members' behavior. (grammar checkers ~ did I get my homophone usage correct?)
I can't believe you're such a homophone. You should try being more tolerant!
 
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blueshoe is offline blueshoe Post #6  April 26,2008, 10:00am
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Yea I have addictions and mental illness in my immediate family. That's part of the reason i endeavor not to and why I don't want to get near anyone who does. I am always a little afraid of scaring my potential helpmeet off. It does cause me anxiety but I agree with the above post. No sense getting into it until your pretty serious towards the engagement stage.
 
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nipper is offline nipper Post #7  May 2,2008, 8:18am
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I have struggled with anxiety most of my life, until a couple years ago. You see my sister used to be about 15 when I was just a little boy of 7. She used to overpower little seven year old me and so I grew up to be very cautious of the opposite sex. Then after reading several self help books on suffering and psychology and anxiety, I got a little bold and asked her if she ever realized that what she was doing to me wayyyy back then was very abusive behavior. She just gave me a somewhat emotional response and off we went digressing to another topic for discussion. I also learned over the last I don't know how many months that my father was abusing her sexually, mentally and physically!!!

Hey, it seems to be everywhere. The key to moving beyond what has happened is to be a little bold with your family about some things you are uncomfortable with. I just spoke to my sister about what she was doing to me back then and I could actually feel a very large portion of the anxiety lift and sort of just disappear...! Hey whats the worst thing your are gonna see? Maybe someone in your family will look at you a little differently! Not much of a price to pay for the gigantic relief of getting that monkey to fall off your back!!! Go for it. Hey, they just might respect you!
 
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cnc25335 is offline cnc25335 Post #8  May 3,2008, 7:14am
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my family is not bad in anything they do. its more my family will make fun of anything alot and sometimes crosses lines. saying this the fact that i tend to encourage them means im often the first middle and last target. now this is only a problem when i bring home some one i am actually very intrested in. i will do it however at the next major holiday anyways because if my family scares off my date then they obviously are not right for me. i mean they will only see each other maybe 3 times a year anyways.
 
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arg is offline arg Post #9  May 3,2008, 1:28pm
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I love my family...as long as I keep a few states between me an them. Luckily, my family is actually fairly cool and 'present' well. Still, I am the black sheep (the traveler/adventurer that refuses to live the 'normal' life) and I wouldn't introduce someone to them until much later in the relationship and only under a controlled environment.

I have yet to see the family that wasn't dysfunctional. It comes down to degree and knowing what you can and can't tolerate in dealing witih them.

I'm good for three days and then it's time to leave!
 
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BuzWeaver is offline BuzWeaver Post #10  May 3,2008, 5:47pm
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The 'significant other' phrase is nearly as bad as an embarrassing family member.
 
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