rtist is offline rtist Post #141  May 12,2009, 1:23pm
rtist's Avatar

Be willing to give up the life you planned, 2 have the life waiting 4 u.

Newbie

Joined: May 2009

Bay Area, California

Posts: 20

See profile



I was married for 18 years. Just grew apart, nothing horrid. I started dating and found that I'm real picky about actually living with someone (you know marriage). Being single is really pretty cool once you get used to it and it makes you really appreciate your time with the opposite sex, when that happens.
 
  Reply With Quote
Aidyl is offline Aidyl Post #142  May 12,2009, 8:10pm
Aidyl's Avatar

Is looking but not hunting

Newbie

Joined: May 2009

Regina

Posts: 28

See profile

The27thS, wrote :

I was curious as to what people's answers to this question might be. I am currently single because I have yet to meet anyone interesting.
I may as well put it out there. I'm single because I was in a 12 year abusive relationship. Since then I have healed, but in the process I became too independent maybe. The last few tries have failed because I did not want someone that said "I love you" after the 2nd date or wanted to do everything for me instead of shareing the job or my favorite, minimized everything I did past, present and future. I totaly lost it when I was told that I must have enjoyed the abuse or I wouldn't have stayed as long as I did. If I was the catty type I would have unsheathed my claws right there and then. But I just sat there dumb struck and knew this was not the one for me. I have been single for 15 years now and had a total of five short relationships in that time (less than a month each).


I have had to face a lot of truths about myself in the past two years as to why I am single. My worst, I think, is that I have a cryteria. Apparently, in order to find a match, one has to compramize in almost every aspect of ones expectations of a partner. I thought I was being reasonable, but apparently not. All I want is someone in my age bracket that is clean cut and takes reasonable care of their body. I don't care what car they drive or what income bracket they are in, as long as they have an income so I don't have to suport them. And someone that is ok with me being an independent woman. Damn, now I'm ranting. I'm single because I have a cryteria.
 
  Reply With Quote
Aidyl is offline Aidyl Post #143  May 12,2009, 8:27pm
Aidyl's Avatar

Is looking but not hunting

Newbie

Joined: May 2009

Regina

Posts: 28

See profile

sabete2002,575877 wrote :

My ex of almost 20 years decided the grass was greener on the other side of the fence. Apparently, it is as they got married last summer.


I've had a couple of ltr's since and have dated on and off in the meantime, hoping to find "the one". I won't settle though so if it is my lot to be on my own from this point forward, I'd rather be happy alone than unhappy in a relationship that wasn't working. I've so much to be thankful for - great kids, friends and family and life is never dull. Being in a happy fulfilled relationship would be the icing on the cake.
You go girl. You just said it like it is. With that kind of additude you will be happy all your life no matter how it turns out in the dating game. I bend my knee to you and all that you stand for.
 
  Reply With Quote
Wootz is offline Wootz Post #144  May 12,2009, 9:37pm
Wootz's Avatar

walks the walk

Veteran

Joined: May 2009

Appalachian Mountains

Posts: 1,660

See profile






Why am I single? Because I have high standards: no smoking (period, exclamation point!), no excessive drinking, no drugs, must be completely faithful, reasonably honest (yes, you can lie about eating that last cookie), someone I can be physically attracted to (no, you don’t have to be a lingerie model), who I can laugh with- but most importantly someone I can converse with. After all the steamy sex and sweeping romance of the early relationship, there must be that.


It isn’t as if I don’t get hit on- I do! I happen to be one of those men missing the woman sense: I am so dense when it comes to women being attracted to me, I must have my own event horizon. It takes direct, blunt language to get through the dead zone- example: "I like you. Would you like to…" insert non-dirty activity here. That would get my attention. But if you don’t meet the above criteria, I’ll have to politely decline.


I don’t think my little shopping list is unreasonable. I *know* I’d be unhappy if I didn’t get it. As for what else turns the ladies off- I’m an atheist (I’m not pushy until I am pushed too far), I can be pedantic (*hangs head* workin’ on that), I have a tempestuous relationship with sharp objects (have long hair, often with a five o’clock shadow), I tend to poverty (as I spend money on charitable- family- cases), and I am often absent minded (my notepad is my physical memory). *grin*


I happen to think I’m pretty darn cool myself, but I also know there’s a lot of better people than me out there. Good luck to all you single guys and gals out there! I’m going to try and go back to sleep.
 
  Reply With Quote
NathanCM is offline NathanCM Post #145  May 14,2009, 9:58pm
NathanCM's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Feb 2009

Posts: 273

See profile

scarlet13 wrote :
you should really evaluate how you appear to people- you may be giving off bad vibes without even realizing it.
Screw that! Why change who you are just because you rub some people (single females) the wrong way? This seemingly goes against everything American -the gung ho independent screw what everyone else thinks spirit!!!

Yea, I may have over interpreted. It is co-counsel bacardi's fault.
 
  Reply With Quote
scarlet13 is offline scarlet13 Post #146  May 14,2009, 10:05pm
scarlet13's Avatar

no stuntman surprises or houdini like disguises for death defying escape

Unregistered

Joined: Apr 2009

Where the clouds are like headlines on a new front page sky

Posts: 10,721

See profile

NathanCM wrote :
Screw that! Why change who you are just because you rub some people (single females) the wrong way? This seemingly goes against everything American -the gung ho independent screw what everyone else thinks spirit!!!

Yea, I may have over interpreted. It is co-counsel bacardi's fault.
kay. my co counsel Jose is rebutting.

it's not about changing your personality. you are who you are, and i am a firm believer in being who you are.

BUT

you may be a great guy, but if the first impression you leave on a person is that you are a ah0le tha you need to at least soften or adjust your approach until people get to know you a bit better.
 
  Reply With Quote
AdviceGuy212 is offline AdviceGuy212 Post #147  May 14,2009, 10:53pm
AdviceGuy212's Avatar

Quick Study

Joined: Feb 2009

Massachusetts

Posts: 52

See profile

I would treat a woman with respect and the most important thing to me is that she stays faithful to me because I'd be faithful to her as well. Does anyone think that's asking too much??
 
  Reply With Quote
mostlyaverage31 is offline mostlyaverage31 Post #148  May 15,2009, 5:03am
mostlyaverage…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Dec 2008

Washington

Posts: 5

See profile

single is much better than letting something that just feels good for right now, and convenient for today turn into something much worse as the days pass you both by. single doesn't trade away for that which you see on every sidewalk, every day and always on sale. a great deal until you buy it only to find out there's no return and no $$ back.
 
  Reply With Quote
CreolePrincess is offline CreolePrincess Post #149  May 15,2009, 5:33am
CreolePrinces…'s Avatar

It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

Virtuoso

Joined: May 2009

The Dirty South

Posts: 2,575

See profile

I'm single, because I can take care of myself and take very little crap from others when it to my personal life. I believe everyone has a worth and should be treated as such. I treat others with respect and expect the same in return. If they can't hang with that, they can dive off.
 
  Reply With Quote
snackynak is offline snackynak Post #150  May 15,2009, 4:01pm
snackynak's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Apr 2009

Lompoc, CA

Posts: 11

See profile

If I knew why I was single, I probably wouldn't be single :P
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« A little game for everybody | About You | "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“It's important to understand the way a site works. Rigidly assuming / insisting that eH works likes all the others you're used to isn't utilizing the site functions to your best advantage. No.... ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “First contact on eHarmony, smile, questions, email?” discussion

“ If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “How do i recoonect with him again?” discussion

“ Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates! What specific steps did you try? How many women did you ask out in person? Did you buy a ... ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “For women to answer: How to avoid the friend zone” discussion

“ This is an old thread. She asked this in 2010. By now they are likely very exclusive or very over. ” –  shapeShifter79

Join the “is there a reason to ask if we're exclusive?” discussion

“ I'm sure he wouldn't get that. And I can't be sure that was the actual message. But it sems kind of likely to me.” –  boomer_gal

Join the “Why am I not successful?” discussion

“Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... ” –  Sassafras54

Join the “Being blown off, or something else?” discussion

“ Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices. QUOTE] But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... ” –  eccemuliere

Join the “Is Your Gut Leading - or Misleading You?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 12:00am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0