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Doodler Doodler is offline
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I don't understand why you feel she "wronged" you or that she needs to be forgiven. She had sex with 5 guys beforeyou met. Did she lie to you and tell you she was a virgin before you had sex? Has she had sex with anyone else while you have been together? Those would be things that could be considered "wrongs".
- April 5th, 2009, 07:09 pm
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bravethestorm bravethestorm is offline
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bravethestorm 10/10/09 Engaged to eharmony match

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spadefish, wrote :

I want to forgive her (is it even my place to forgive her? Did I ever have a right to be angry?). I want things to go back to normal between us. I hate being reminded about this blemish on our relationship every time we have sex or kiss even.
I think you said the main reason it is bothering you that you had the ideal of your first also being their first time.


She didn't wrong you by sleeping with those guys before she even knew you. There are many possible reasons but the past can't be changed. You can regret her choices and make her regret them but it certainly won't help your current relationship with her.


Yes forgiving her is part of the process as you do seem to feel she owed you this. It's not something you need to say or do around her (as that would probably hurt her knowing you feel this way)but on your own as this really doesn't involve her.


A blemish on your record would be something that happens while the two of you were dating...her past isn't this. If you're grossed out kissing her or having sex...then this is something you do need to come to terms with unless you start dating a complete virgin. Realistically you're not going to find someone that hasn't at least kissed someone else as an adult.


Remind yourself of your own words...that this is the "greatest relationship I've ever had, romantic or otherwise." You have the future to explore together...which consists of choices that haven't been made yet. Leave the past regrets where they are as ultimately you made a choice to lose your virginity to her as someone that you felt was the right one at the time (and you still seem to think she is the one for you).


If you can't forgive her for past relationships...then you will need to look for a new girlfriend that meets your standards. Just remember that everyone has a past though and some of it you'll be proud of and some of it you won't...just like they are.
- April 5th, 2009, 09:00 pm
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DDjr DDjr is offline
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You're young.


Guys don't understand that having sex-ual inter-course induces strong emotions in guys just as it does in women.


Do what Woody Allen does, go out in the morning and scream "God likes me! He really, really likes me!"


If you really can't get past this issue then do yourself and this girl a favor and dump her. Take some time to sort through all of your emotions. Then, you can attempt to find your next girlfriend.
- April 6th, 2009, 09:04 am
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tweet37 tweet37 is offline
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Her number is only five ? You should feel lucky.
- April 6th, 2009, 02:22 pm
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r10renault r10renault is offline
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tweet37 wrote :

Her number is only five ? You should feel lucky.
Oh, I thought the Ford was a 37
- April 6th, 2009, 03:40 pm
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AdviceGuy212 AdviceGuy212 is offline
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I'd give you advice, but everyone else in this thread pretty much said it all, so I'd go with what they're telling you.
- April 6th, 2009, 10:33 pm
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EMTZ EMTZ is offline
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Unless you have no flaw, I suggest not to think of yourself being better than she is for what she had done when she was not in an exclusive relationship with you. She has not wronged you, so it is not your place to forgive her. You should feel lucky to have her because many women will end the relationship if they find out their partners think and feel the way you do now.
- April 6th, 2009, 11:05 pm
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