The last unic- errm... SHE- nerd/gamer.


Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
 
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #1  March 29,2009, 4:23pm
Ingytravel's Avatar

Naps are one of life's great joys:)

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 8,132

See profile



Well..I'm probably old enough to be your mother....hahaha....but I just wanted to pop in here and say that while it's great that you are comfortable with who you are and have high self esteem...I don't think you have to bash/trash or talk down to girls who are not like you.....I'm sure you wouldn't like it if other's did this...maybe you wouldn'tcare...but it's not going to do you any good or help you attract a guy by doing this...


Because a few years down the road...you might broaden your horizons with being friends with women who are all shapes/sizes/interests..and yes...hair color...LOL...and best girlfriends will get you through all the years with ups/downs with guys...believe me!!!


So..again..I think it's great at your age to embrace who you are and not change for anyone...and a guy who apprecitates this will find you...but you don't have to go on an on about how much you dislike certain girls...as they are trying to find their way in this world just like you, they just do it differently...you don't have to agree...but don't be a hater...
 
  Reply With Quote
Lithiel is offline Lithiel Post #2  March 29,2009, 4:33pm
Lithiel's Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Richmond BC

Posts: 5

See profile



I'm surprized you think I was bashing other women..OwO''' In fact I think I was bashing myself for the most part ma'am, like talking about how 'weird' I am, ect ect. Though I thankyou for your reply to my topic all the same. I did not make this topic to bash other woman, I only put up the description of my opposite in figureand personality. Not as a bad thing, but to state the irony.


In fact this was a VERY small part of the subject- did you read the whole thing?


Quote: "they fail to even notice I exist despite all my efforts and end up falling for some cute super chick who's my complete opposite.


What's my complete opposite?


Opposite as in; if I'm an curvy tall girl, ample breasts, long brown hair, brown eyes, mixed race with glasses, discounted clothes, notebooks, feminine but strong voice- my opposite would be blond, very skinny, little breasts, designer clothes, iphone in hand, with a high pitched set of vocal chords. So cute you can just kill her. And though she throws herself at all of them like some horny animal, and they come to me complaining how annoying she is, for some reason they still would date the thing.>_>'"--- End Quote. And the talking about other women ends there. O.o'''


Then my descriptions are about everyone in my neighbborhood.


My topic isn't about bashing other woman then me,the subject wasabout how I'm a certainkind of person, and am I suited as such for signifcant other?I was talking abouthowmen are comfertablearound me, yet they date someone they find very uncomfertable, then complain to me about it, cause I'm always the best friend.I find that strange.


It could have beenany type ma'am, red head, other hair colors, same hair colors, I don't care that wasn't the point, I was only describing my physical opposite as an example.Nothing personal against you or anyone else. I'm an artist and as such I look at body types and physical features for a living, andI like them all very much.


I sudjest youre-read again please. And name calling is not required. thankyou.^^'''


However if you do reply and insist this is what I'mtalking aboutI wontgive you creditabilitybyreplying.


Again, thankyou for reading though... ^^' now I gotta go to my gaming meeting now.
 
  Reply With Quote
Lithiel is offline Lithiel Post #3  March 29,2009, 4:36pm
Lithiel's Avatar

is happy.

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Richmond BC

Posts: 5

See profile



I'm a nerd, I'm a gamer, I'm a tomboy,and I'm a a bit of anOtaku(anime fan)too.


One of the most difficult things in life is knowing I don't fit in with most women in the world. I tend to be looked over as a frumpy looking brunet with too many books in her bag, and though I've taken steps to really brush up and look nice for the observant eye, I'm wondering if there's really is a person out therewhere I livefor a strange breed like myself. Or maybe in the world?


I'm your typical broke student, slumming over work and my latest art piece, but that doesn't mean I don't venture to the local mall or coffee shop to snoop around. And don't get me started on my own school.


I seem to follow this miserable pattern; Join agroup ofpeople > hang out andhave fun together > become fond of one guy in particular > try to gettoknow that person moreclosely > make small advances like' asking if they want to get coffee' or ' do something together some time?'> they fail to even notice I exist despite all my efforts and end up falling for some cute super chick who's my complete opposite.


What's my complete opposite?


Opposite as in; ifI'm an curvytall girl, ample breasts,long brown hair, brown eyes, mixed race with glasses, discounted clothes,notebooks, feminine but strong voice- my opposite would be blond,very skinny, little breasts, designer clothes,iphone in hand, with a high pitched set of vocal chords. So cute you can just kill her. And though she throws herself at all of them like some horny animal, and they come to me complaining how annoying she is, for some reason they still would date the thing.>_>' ((( EXAMPLE ONLY: Please don't take offence- I have a friend like this too, luv her lots.)))


Now this doesn't always happen, sometimes no girl comes along, but they still never seem to realize I'm watching them. I try to never come off desperate I know guys hate that, I would too, soI'm very casual, just doing stuff they'd usually do. The whole situation is always so comfortable for them, they canbe their selves around me. I often get compliments about that.But... NO ONE seems to realize I'm an available female that just might LIKE them.


At this point, you might say, " Just tell them then!"


I admit it must be my fault, I've had too many bad experiences when I gather my courage and just said it, ' hey- umm.. I'd like to get to know you cause I like you.' and ended up being ostracised for it. Because I'm a femalenerd, hanging out with other nerds, I also unfortunatlyknow how they'd react if I confessed but they didn't feel the same. There'd be this weird vibe in the air and they slowly drift away or act indifferent and quiet until I took it upon myself to leave the whole group.


So I'm completely incapable of confessing, really. That ship set sail.


And if other nerd/gamer boy's were difficult, just any normalguy is impossible. You name it, Buses, streets, malls, shops, events, schools, clubs... any where and everywhere. I'm completely invisible!


There will be some sweet and attractive guy, I make eye contact, but they break it and look on passed me. Even if I hold their gaze for 5 seconds, nothing. If I say hi, sometimes they might wave back, but quickly move on.


Maybe I really am weird. But I'm not short of 'male' friends in general. Not boyfriends, justboys, who, are my friends.And they all like me, but I guess they all would rather keep me that way. I'm like that nice guy every girl wants, but always turns down.


Is it wrong for a pretty girl to want an attractive boyfriend? Am I shooting too high and should settle for the creepy middle aged freak watching me in the corner? Do I need to bleach my hair and wear tight clothes? Or do some 'favors' in order to get all the fancy stuff the other girls wear and pretty up more?


Sounds awful to me. But being myself doesn't seem to work here.


Maybe it's a location issue? I live in an area that's 90% asian. I like asian men! But they don't seem to like someone who's not. In fact...an asianboy Idated always kept trying to hide me from his parents like some dirty secret. >__>'


At this point I wont blame you for thinking; ' Holy sh** no wonder no one dates you- I sure heck wouldn't'.


I guess what I need to know is, what can I do to change? Financially I'm at a stand still till my courses go fill circle. No time for part time jobs, and now I'm unemployed thanks to the ressession(>.
 
  Reply With Quote
Ann42 is offline Ann42 Post #4  March 29,2009, 5:16pm
Ann42's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Texas

Posts: 7

See profile



I have a very similar story and fit your description of yourself perfectly! I'm a curvy brunette who enjoys all the nerd stuff but always ends up the best friend. I recently graduated and moved to a larger city though, and have gotten much more attention than back in college. I think a lot of it is location. Plus, guys in college are pretty out of it. They get a thrill from going after the unattainable blonde- it's still about the game, not about an actual relationship. That's my theory anyway! Best of luck to you from a fellow former tomboy!
 
  Reply With Quote
Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #5  March 29,2009, 5:21pm
Ingytravel's Avatar

Naps are one of life's great joys:)

Power Poster

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 8,132

See profile



Yep..read the whole thing..but I did get a negative view from you about women who are the opposite of you...but no biggie...that was just my view....and maybe I misunderstood....neither here nor there...and ok..a joke about being your mom...I'm 40...but please...no calling me ma'am...HAHAHAHA


I can understand your issue to a certain extent as I was..still am to some extent...a tomboy..grew up with an older brother...have all the scars to prove it!!! HAHAHA...so at your age...it's hard not to compare yourself to others..and like you said...you don't want to be the "shoulder to lean on" with guys...but a girlfriend....


All I can suggest is keep being yourself..and if you feel like it for a date...to get dressed up at all??? I enjoy it once in awhile....to go down to DC to a nice restaurant or play....so it's nice to be "a girly girl" when I feel like it....and then love the times I can also go hiking/canyoneering with a guy and my dog....So enjoy the balance of it...and that has actually made it easier to date in my mid to late 20's as I could have fun doing lots of different things...activities the guys like...but also things that I can take some time to look special for my guy...LOL...


I don't do gaming..it does look fun though.....but I do like watching football, playing golf..used to be a firefighter...so truly...I do know what it's like to hang out with the boys...you just have to show them you have "the other side" as well....If that's what you want


Good luck...
 
  Reply With Quote
memyselfandiplus2 is offline memyselfandiplus2 Post #6  March 29,2009, 8:48pm
memyselfandip…'s Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Posts: 39

See profile

[quote=Lithiel,]

I'm a nerd, I'm a gamer, I'm a tomboy,and I'm a a bit of anOtaku(anime fan)too.


One of the most difficult things in life is knowing I don't fit in with most women in the world. I tend to be looked over as a frumpy looking brunet with too many books in her bag, and though I've taken steps to really brush up and look nice for the observant eye, I'm wondering if there's really is a person out therewhere I livefor a strange breed like myself. Or maybe in the world?


I'm your typical broke student, slumming over work and my latest art piece, but that doesn't mean I don't venture to the local mall or coffee shop to snoop around. And don't get me started on my own school.


I seem to follow this miserable pattern; Join agroup ofpeople > hang out andhave fun together > become fond of one guy in particular > try to gettoknow that person moreclosely > make small advances like' asking if they want to get coffee' or ' do something together some time?'> they fail to even notice I exist despite all my efforts and end up falling for some cute super chick who's my complete opposite.


What's my complete opposite?


Opposite as in; ifI'm an curvytall girl, ample breasts,long brown hair, brown eyes, mixed race with glasses, discounted clothes,notebooks, feminine but strong voice- my opposite would be blond,very skinny, little breasts, designer clothes,iphone in hand, with a high pitched set of vocal chords. So cute you can just kill her. And though she throws herself at all of them like some horny animal, and they come to me complaining how annoying she is, for some reason they still would date the thing.>_>' ((( EXAMPLE ONLY : Please don't take offence- I have a friend like this too, luv her lots.)))


Now this doesn't always happen, sometimes no girl comes along, but they still never seem to realize I'm watching them. I try to never come off desperate I know guys hate that, I would too, soI'm very casual, just doing stuff they'd usually do. The whole situation is always so comfortable for them, they canbe their selves around me. I often get compliments about that.But... NO ONE seems to realize I'm an available female that just might LIKE them.


At this point, you might say, " Just tell them then!"


I admit it must be my fault, I've had too many bad experiences when I gather my courage and just said it, ' hey- umm.. I'd like to get to know you cause I like you.' and ended up being ostracised for it. Because I'm a femalenerd, hanging out with other nerds, I also unfortunatlyknow how they'd react if I confessed but they didn't feel the same. There'd be this weird vibe in the air and they slowly drift away or act indifferent and quiet until I took it upon myself to leave the whole group.


So I'm completely incapable of confessing, really. That ship set sail.


And if other nerd/gamer boy's were difficult, just any normalguy is impossible. You name it, Buses, streets, malls, shops, events, schools, clubs... any where and everywhere. I'm completely invisible!


There will be some sweet and attractive guy, I make eye contact, but they break it and look on passed me. Even if I hold their gaze for 5 seconds, nothing. If I say hi, sometimes they might wave back, but quickly move on.


Maybe I really am weird. But I'm not short of 'male' friends in general. Not boyfriends, justboys, who, are my friends.And they all like me, but I guess they all would rather keep me that way. I'm like that nice guy every girl wants, but always turns down.


Is it wrong for a pretty girl to want an attractive boyfriend? Am I shooting too high and should settle for the creepy middle aged freak watching me in the corner? Do I need to bleach my hair and wear tight clothes? Or do some 'favors' in order to get all the fancy stuff the other girls wear and pretty up more?


Sounds awful to me. But being myself doesn't seem to work here.


Maybe it's a location issue? I live in an area that's 90% asian. I like asian men! But they don't seem to like someone who's not. In fact...an asianboy Idated always kept trying to hide me from his parents like some dirty secret. >__>'


At this point I wont blame you for thinking; ' Holy sh ** no wonder no one dates you- I sure heck wouldn't'.


I guess what I need to know is, what can I do to change? Financially I'm at a stand still till my courses go fill circle. No time for part time jobs, and now I'm unemployed thanks to the ressession(>.
 
  Reply With Quote
priest_bass is offline priest_bass Post #7  March 29,2009, 9:05pm
priest_bass's Avatar

is bored

Newbie

Joined: Mar 2009

Bronx, NY

Posts: 8

See profile



To be honest with you, you sound like a great girl with a lot to offer. The only thing I would say you need is confidence. Guys can see when a girl is insecure or has just given up and its not too attractive. We want to be with someone who has the confidence to be their own person when we're not around. In my past experiences insecure women have always burned me. In most other epople's cases too. So be confident and let it show and you should be fine. And if your ever in NYC send me a message...lol. Hope that was helpful.
 
  Reply With Quote
Oregon_Coast_Guy is offline Oregon_Coast_Guy Post #8  March 29,2009, 11:01pm
Oregon_Coast_…'s Avatar

We're one of a kind, like dip di-dip di-dip, doo-bop a doo-bee doo

Veteran

Joined: Sep 2008

OR

Posts: 2,402

See profile



So, what kind of guy is it you are hoping to get?
 
  Reply With Quote
flowerchild66 is offline flowerchild66 Post #9  March 30,2009, 2:08am
flowerchild66's Avatar

Pacesetter

Joined: Nov 2008

Posts: 336

See profile

[quote=Lithiel,]

I'm a nerd, I'm a gamer, I'm a tomboy,and I'm a a bit of anOtaku(anime fan)too.


One of the most difficult things in life is knowing I don't fit in with most women in the world. I tend to be looked over as a frumpy looking brunet with too many books in her bag, and though I've taken steps to really brush up and look nice for the observant eye, I'm wondering if there's really is a person out therewhere I livefor a strange breed like myself. Or maybe in the world?


I'm your typical broke student, slumming over work and my latest art piece, but that doesn't mean I don't venture to the local mall or coffee shop to snoop around. And don't get me started on my own school.


I seem to follow this miserable pattern; Join agroup ofpeople > hang out andhave fun together > become fond of one guy in particular > try to gettoknow that person moreclosely > make small advances like' asking if they want to get coffee' or ' do something together some time?'> they fail to even notice I exist despite all my efforts and end up falling for some cute super chick who's my complete opposite.


What's my complete opposite?


Opposite as in; ifI'm an curvytall girl, ample breasts,long brown hair, brown eyes, mixed race with glasses, discounted clothes,notebooks, feminine but strong voice- my opposite would be blond,very skinny, little breasts, designer clothes,iphone in hand, with a high pitched set of vocal chords. So cute you can just kill her. And though she throws herself at all of them like some horny animal, and they come to me complaining how annoying she is, for some reason they still would date the thing.>_>' ((( EXAMPLE ONLY : Please don't take offence- I have a friend like this too, luv her lots.)))


Now this doesn't always happen, sometimes no girl comes along, but they still never seem to realize I'm watching them. I try to never come off desperate I know guys hate that, I would too, soI'm very casual, just doing stuff they'd usually do. The whole situation is always so comfortable for them, they canbe their selves around me. I often get compliments about that.But... NO ONE seems to realize I'm an available female that just might LIKE them.


At this point, you might say, " Just tell them then!"


I admit it must be my fault, I've had too many bad experiences when I gather my courage and just said it, ' hey- umm.. I'd like to get to know you cause I like you.' and ended up being ostracised for it. Because I'm a femalenerd, hanging out with other nerds, I also unfortunatlyknow how they'd react if I confessed but they didn't feel the same. There'd be this weird vibe in the air and they slowly drift away or act indifferent and quiet until I took it upon myself to leave the whole group.


So I'm completely incapable of confessing, really. That ship set sail.


And if other nerd/gamer boy's were difficult, just any normalguy is impossible. You name it, Buses, streets, malls, shops, events, schools, clubs... any where and everywhere. I'm completely invisible!


There will be some sweet and attractive guy, I make eye contact, but they break it and look on passed me. Even if I hold their gaze for 5 seconds, nothing. If I say hi, sometimes they might wave back, but quickly move on.


Maybe I really am weird. But I'm not short of 'male' friends in general. Not boyfriends, justboys, who, are my friends.And they all like me, but I guess they all would rather keep me that way. I'm like that nice guy every girl wants, but always turns down.


Is it wrong for a pretty girl to want an attractive boyfriend? Am I shooting too high and should settle for the creepy middle aged freak watching me in the corner? Do I need to bleach my hair and wear tight clothes? Or do some 'favors' in order to get all the fancy stuff the other girls wear and pretty up more?


Sounds awful to me. But being myself doesn't seem to work here.


Maybe it's a location issue? I live in an area that's 90% asian. I like asian men! But they don't seem to like someone who's not. In fact...an asianboy Idated always kept trying to hide me from his parents like some dirty secret. >__>'


At this point I wont blame you for thinking; ' Holy sh ** no wonder no one dates you- I sure heck wouldn't'.


I guess what I need to know is, what can I do to change? Financially I'm at a stand still till my courses go fill circle. No time for part time jobs, and now I'm unemployed thanks to the ressession(>.
 
  Reply With Quote
DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #10  March 30,2009, 4:17am
DancingFool's Avatar

Power Poster

Joined: Jan 2009

Posts: 5,715

See profile



Guys don't want to date another guy, they want to date a girl. Sounds to me like you are so much one of the guys that you stop being a woman and they don't see you as a woman. The trick for you is to figure out that fine balance.


When you look at the Barbie doll that you are describing, you are focusing on all the wrong things - she drives an expensive car, has a fancy phone, is annoying,etc.- that is not what's attracting them. What's attracting them isthat she is feminine- try to figure out what that is. By the way, it's not acting stupid or weak and it's definitely not the color of her hair....lol..... If you can find a balance of being a female and all your interests....well....you'll be the most wanted girl ever. The biggest bragging point for a lot of guys is how they finally found this amazing girl who also happens to be into football or gaming or whatever interest they have.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply
  • Page 1 of 3
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3


« I don't expect it....but, | About You | Being an Open Person? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“He said he feels we both have a lot going on in our lives that need to get straightened out before we can focus on a relationship. Sorry, but that's just a sugar coated way of him saying he's just ... ” –  tweet37

Join the “The End Maybe Coming” discussion

“Is there an eH site in the Philippines? Are you a citizen / resident or living there? Are you looking to the eHA advice site or the paid eHarmony site to meet someone? The eHarmony site has questions ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Profile Review please 25/F” discussion

“The article is retarded. Everyone knows that looks and money create attraction. At least initial attraction. And if it isn't there, anything after that is a no-go. And if there isn't much to look ... ” –  tweet37

Join the “Do Looks and Money Really Create Attraction?” discussion

“It would be best to be original and reflect who you are. Writing style etc. is one thing, but copying "this sounds good" from other profiles before you fill your own out won't yield much. No one here ... ” –  Wiseman2

Join the “Introducing Myself” discussion

“ Dang you're right I really need some sleep ” –  picklesNcream

Join the “Transition from dating to relationship” discussion

“I hate when the gal pays then expects me to put out, especially on the first date when it's perfectly clear in my profile that I have a two date rule. Sheesh.” –  tweet37

Join the “who pays?” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 4:56am.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0