PY is offline PY Post #1  March 26,2009, 10:41pm

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We've covered various issues on dating...but I haven't seen anybody covers this topic yet.


I'm sure this mattered more when we were younger, but I had lots of acne growing up, which many caused scars, and imperfections of my skin...ironically I had tons of acne during highschool, but never bothered me. Long story short it didn't affect my self confidence until I was in my 20s. I've spent quite a bit of money getting it under control and although it has helped reduced lots of the active ones, the redness, quite a few of the imperfections and scars remain....my face looks relatively ok, but I sometimes wish I had better skin.


Haha...wouldn't think that I would share this flaw on a public board. I know my face isn't hideous cause in real life, many of my friends are comfortable hugging me. but I'm curious how much of this actually affects dating in our 30s?


Interested in knowing your thoughts.
 
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cosm0 is offline cosm0 Post #2  March 26,2009, 11:10pm
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Interesting topic btw. Send me your pic and i'll be the judge of that... heheh J/k


Anyways, are your scars noticeable?


If so seek a doctor or dermatologist.For mild treatment they maysuggest a chemical peel or microdermabrasion to help improve the appearance of scarred areas. And sometimes doctors inject material under the scar to raise it to the level of normal skin. Finally, in some cases, a doctor may recommend surgery to remove deeply indented scars.
 
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PY is offline PY Post #3  March 26,2009, 11:16pm

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Mine will have to be more than mild chemical peel. It is quite noticeable..but not to a point of being repulsive though...but it is noticeable. I know I could improve at least the appearance or minimize the depth of the scar with peels (I've done pretty decent research on this). I've done six series of mild non-invasive 'laser' which I think improved the condition...maybe 30-50%? Although I've had people commented the improvements (especially those who have seen me before when the condition was worse). No...I wouldn't have a surgery to remove my scar...I wouldn't go that far.


I don't think (at least I hope so) that my skin condition hinders me from looking 'attractive'...and I didn't think my past dates from EH had any problems with it...but I just thought if I could improve it even further, might be worth it...
 
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cosm0 is offline cosm0 Post #4  March 26,2009, 11:19pm
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Be honest with me on this one...


Are there a lot of them or just a few?
 
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PY is offline PY Post #5  March 26,2009, 11:22pm

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I already posted my answer above.


I've seen your other post about having 'high standard' though...haha...so honestly I will have to read your reply with a huge grain of salt....sorry.


Why you have to say 'be honest'? That's already assuming I'm not...sorry the tone just makes me feel like I'm already under your subjective judgement...'a lot or a few' is subjective.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #6  March 26,2009, 11:24pm
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PY - I think that it's less of an issue for men (for whom it is okay to look "rugged") than it is for women, who are expected to have clear, smooth skin. I understand that doesn't mean that it's less of an issue for you or how self-conscious it might make you feel, but it won't be something that others focus on in the way that you might fear.


I know what you mean about it being more distressing in many ways when you're older. In high school, most kids have some level of acne so it just feels more normal at that age than it does as an adult (even though it turns out that many adults do in fact have some acne).If it makes you feel uncomfortable about letting someone see you up close or caress your face, that's a problem for getting close to someone in a relationship...


As cosm0 says, there are a lot more options available for treating acne scars (also including lasers) to make them less apparent. It's easy enough to get a consultation on what might be good options for you so you might want to explore that at some point. [Edited to add: I now see from your later post that you've already done a lot of this. ]
 
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PY is offline PY Post #7  March 26,2009, 11:29pm

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oh no noo I have no problem having somebody seeing me up close.....I have no problem with that.
 
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cosm0 is offline cosm0 Post #8  March 26,2009, 11:31pm
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PY,550600 wrote :

I already posted my answer above.


I've seen your other post about having 'high standard' though...haha...so honestly I will have to read your reply with a huge grain of salt....sorry.


Why you have to say 'be honest'? That's already assuming I'm not.
LOL.. sorry i missed some part of that post. I'm not trying to say that you'renot telling the truth... It's just i think if only just a few scars, you need not to worry about it.


You perceived me as someone that has "high standards"???? I guess ever since that post most people would assume so.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #9  March 26,2009, 11:35pm
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PY,550610 wrote :

oh no noo I have no problem having somebody seeing me up close.....I have no problem with that.

That is good. It sounds like you are pretty comfortable with it all (which is very healthy!) and that it's not holding you back. More just something to keep on top of...
 
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PY is offline PY Post #10  March 26,2009, 11:39pm

Sometimes...just be a bigger person and take the high road.

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neardc,550618 wrote :

PY,550610 wrote :


oh no noo I have no problem having somebody seeing me up close.....I have no problem with that.





That is good. It sounds like you are pretty comfortable with it all (which is very healthy!) and that it's not holding you back. More just something to keep on top of...
Yeah...at this point it's more about 'wondering' than stressing.....I've grown out of that stage for a while...
 
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