about me and my boyfriend


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nhlas is offline nhlas Post #1  March 25,2009, 10:02pm
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I am a female and I was dating this Guy and we were in love and we argued for a manner thing and we break up, I tried to approached him to sort thing out and he keeps on postponing and I end up calling him tell him that he mustn’t bother again to come to me because I was trying to sort thing up with him and it’s seem as if he is not interested at all and I ask for my photos back and he hangs up the phone on my hear. and another thing he told my friend that he still in loved with me and I don’t understand why he doesn’t want to resolved the problem that we having if he does love me and he doesn’t want to pick up my calls and I’m not sure that he does read my messages on his phone. And I’m crazy in love with this guy please I needs your advise what must I do.
 
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nhlas is offline nhlas Post #2  March 25,2009, 10:16pm
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I need your advise what should i do must i confront him again or not.
 
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BikerBeagle is offline BikerBeagle Post #3  March 26,2009, 4:33am
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Either he really doesn't want to resolve this situation with you ...or he'splaying games with you. Funnily enough, it's an attention thing ...the more he rejects you (while giving you little tidbits of hope through your friends), the more obsessed you become, basic psychology.


Don't feed the narcissists. Don't confront him, don't talk to him, don't answer any emails/calls/texts from him ...don't play into this game.
 
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Number2 is offline Number2 Post #4  March 26,2009, 4:41am
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Quick question, where the photos you want back given to him as a gift? Or did you just happen to leave them there? (If they were a gift, it seems pretty juviniale to want them back..no offense.)


One thing you need to ask yourself is if you want to be in a relationship with someone who will not work things out with there is an arguement? Then again, I don't know what the argument was, so I can't be much help with that.


If I were you, and IF I wanted to 'confront' him, simply call/find time to visit himagain and in a CALM AND SECURE voice, say that you feel as though there might be something still between you two and if he is WILLING and feels up for it, to see if the two of you could repair the relationship. If he responds by hanging up or acting rude (without provacation by you, which is why it is important not to act upset) then you can safely assume that you are better off without him. If he responds in a positive manner, you can move forward.


I stress the importance of remaining level-headed and calm when 'confronting' him. People in general do not respond well to others being upset at them.


As for the photos, if they were a gift from you to him, just forget about them. If they were not or were photos you don't have any extra copies of and hold some importance to you, thensay that they are important to you and you would like them back.
 
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Tacomalove is offline Tacomalove Post #5  March 26,2009, 4:56am
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nhlas,549042 wrote :

I need your advise what should i do must i confront him again or not.
I would not contact him again and definitely not confront him. Give him space and if he doesn't contact you in a couple of weeks or so, let him go. If he does contact you, give him a chance to explain to you why he acted this way. If he doesn't, he might be a person who does not like to work through conflicts. In the meantime, stay busy so you don't fall for the temptation of contacting him again. Go out with friends and have fun. Or try journaling. Write down all of your thoughts, fears, emotions when you think of him, but don't share the journal with him.


Hope this helps a bit. Good luck to you!
 
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Parfy is offline Parfy Post #6  March 26,2009, 4:56am
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If he loves you and won't return your calls then there is definitelly something else going on there. Be afraid. Be very afraid.


And I agree with #2, if the photos are replacable, forget about em. If you want them back just so he doesn't have them, he could scan them so what would you really get back anyway?


I'm all about second chances but both parties have to want it. If not, cut your losses and move on. I heard eHarmony was a good site to meet people. Maybe try that.
 
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BlueMan is offline BlueMan Post #7  March 26,2009, 9:26pm
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nhlas, it is a shame when guys play these sorts of games. If you do love him then a few weeks without contact may be hard on you but it may pay off. You will find out whether he has the need to contact you or not. If he doesnt, I feel the message may be a bit clearer. People seem to keep objects of other people when they want to keep them on the end of a string ie: he wants you to be the one to run after him; however in a true relationship where feelings are equal you firstly dont play games like this (because you know it will hurt the other persons feelings), and secondly youhave a little more respect for your other half - I dont think by the sound of it he is showing you the respect you do deserve. I hate using friends as go betweens, but in your case it may be an advantage to ask your friend (that he told he loves you) to request your photos for you.However asking for photos back is sort of an end note to a relationship. BM.
 
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Steve_Cam is offline Steve_Cam Post #8  March 27,2009, 1:53am

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move on


-Steve Cam
 
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nhlas is offline nhlas Post #9  March 30,2009, 5:58am
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He did contact me and ask how am I doing and I said fine, I didn’t recognize his voice at first and ask who am I talking with and he played a game hard to get he said he will call me next time and tell me who he is and after a while I did recognize his voice and I asked him that he miss me and he didn’t want to answer my question and he said he is busy, I asked him why he call me when he is busy. Still he didn’t what to answer and I just want to know if maybe he what to resolve our problem or he just calling me for fine or maybe he thought that I will beg him to get back together or he was just calling me to found out want I ‘am doing. And another thing “did I do wrong by not recognized him”. That my second advised that I request.
 
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Shelby is offline Shelby Post #10  March 30,2009, 7:28am
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How old are you two? You're playing games with each other like you're in high school. Don't look for excuses to call him (are those photos that important?) and tell him to grow up (disguising his voice?) Do you really want some one that immature?


Sadly, you're in the middle of a lesson about learning which fish to keep and which to throw back into the sea. This one is no keeper. Go look for a better fish.
 
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