PleaseCritique My Profile


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javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #21  March 25,2009, 1:10am
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Joined: Dec 2007

Posts: 3,320

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Dear Italo2275,


Now to review your eHarmony "About Me" page. Let's see, you write:





1. What are you most passionate about?


You wrote:



I am passionate about my achieving my personal goals, whether its work related or in my personal life.
Passion is part of my nature because I can be e very passionate person towards many other subjects.


Note to Italao2275


Leave off repeating back the question. Also, be more specific about what you're passionate about. Basically what you've written doesn't say much. I understand you're passionate - but it seems about everything. It's much better to have something more specific.


What would you think of this:


Family and friends! Cooking new recipes and entertaining. Also, listening and dancing to Latin Music!



3. Other than your parents, who has been the most influential person in your life and why?


You wrote:


The most influential person in my life is my brother,. I admire him on how he has faced so many challenges that life has brought him and by maintaining a positive attitude and work really hard towards his goals, he has become a very successful person in life . Definitely I have learned a lot from his experiences..


Note to Italo2275:


Good. Maybe a few little tweaks.


What would you think of this:



My brother who, despite many challenges, continually worked very hard and became a successful person - always maintaining a positive attitude along the way.



6. What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?


You wrote:


Then most Important quality I am looking for in a person is, someone who is good communicator and can who does not give up when life brings you challenges, whether they are in the relationship with your partner or everyday problems that may arise.


Note to Italo2275:


Good. Again, don't repeat the sentence in your answer here.


What would you think of this:


Good communicator - so essential in any quality relationship. Additionally, someone who goes the distance, who does not give up when the going gets tough whether in one's day-to-day life or relationships.



7. Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?


You wrote:


Most people that I meet notice how easygoing and how honest I am. I am very outgoing and like to laugh, and I do not put a mask as being someone else I am not…


Note to Italo2275:


Good. Maybe a few tweaks. Also, this one, Number 7, and the one below, Number 8, are contradictory. I'm going to move the bit about being the mask to Number 8 below instead of here. Futher, I'm going to move "Honest" to Number 8 below as it fits better there. Also, don't repeat the question here.


What would you think of this:


Easygoing and comfortable to be with! Outgoing, putting people at ease! Also, fun! Ability to share emotionally with another!



8. What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?


You wrote:


How Genuine I am..and that I do not try to be someone I am not..People usually mask themselves when they meet someone, I on the other hand do not have a problem showing someone who I am and expressing my feelings.


Note to Italo2275:


Putting the part from Number 7 that contradicts what you wrote there and moving it to this category, Number 8.


Also, it seems someone meeting you would see that you were able to express your feelings so I'm moving that part here to category Number 7 above.


What would you think of this:


How genuine, authentic, transparent, and honest I really am! Even though we all seek to put our best foot forward when meeting someone, I let the other see my true self from the start!



9. How do you typically spend your leisure time?


You wrote:


I typically spend my leisure time doing various activities. I love to cook and try a new recipe I have seen on TV. I like to go out and try a new restaurant that have opened up, going to the movies or relaxing at home watching one, is also very relaxing for me. One of my hobbies I love , is to go Latin Dancing I guess it bring s out my wild side and the passion I have for music. One of my new hobbies I recently got in to is Photography which I I am loving.


Note to Italo2275 :


Good but needs tightening up. The first sentence really doesn't say anything.


What would you think of this:


Cooking - making new recipes I've seen on TV; visiting newly opened restaurants; photography; enjoying movies either out or at home; and Latin Dancing which brings out my passion for that type of music in particular - though I enjoy all kinds.



11. Describe the last book that you read and enjoyed. What was it about? What did you like most about it?


You wrote:



The Secret written by Rhonda Burn is simply the law of Attraction. Which is the law that Like attracts Like. The book as well as its companion movie tell us that many great figures through out history knew and harnessed this law. It is basically the power of positive thinking. It was very inspiring because I keep thinking about how my brother got successful by being a positive thinker.A quote used in the book is "Energy flows where attention goes." So if you constantly are thinking about something it will keep coming to you. This can be for the good or the bad. For if you are constantly worried about debt it will continue to show up in your life. If you are always reminding yourself how wealthy you are (even if you are lying to yourself) wealth will appear in your life.


Note to Italo2275:


Are there any other books you've read too? The Secret is regarded as a controversial book by some and so I'd not put this book. For me anyway, the more I read about the book, the more I disliked it as it just so New Agey! Seriously, I'd consider dropping this book and putting something else. However, if you really must put this book then consider the following:


What do you think of this:


"The Secret," by Rhonda Burn, about the Law of Attraction: Likes attract like! Basically, it's about the power of positive thinking.



12. Describe one thing about yourself that only your best friends know.


You wrote:


I am a very giving person and respectful.to people


Note to Italo2275:


People will know how respectful you are when they meet you by how you treat the person with dignity and respect so more than just your best friends will know this about you.


What would you think of this:


How generous I am with all that I've been blessed!





13. Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?


You wrote:


I am very family oriented I love my family and love to spend time with my nephew and nieces, the one person that has me wrapped around her finger right now is my niece who would do anything for her..


Note to Italo2275:


Very good. Perhaps it can be tightened up some.


What would you think of this:


Very family-oriented person who loves family and enjoys spending time with my nephew and nieces. My little niece has me wrapped around her little finger and knows I would do anything for her!


____


Final note to you, Italo2275:


Watch your grammar and punctuation - especially two periods at the end of some sentences. Such things do count in a profile!


After you've written it, go back and check it several times a bit later to really make sure you've gotten the proper punctuation and such put in. If you copy it directly from what I've written, you will.


Regarding your pictures:


Photo 1: Good except for all those bottles on the shelf. Doesn't look good. Some of your matches may not drink.


Photo 2 : Looks good!


Photo 3: Good!


Photo 4: Nice!


Photo 5: Very nice! Probably my favorite!


Photo 6: Very nice! Another favorite which you should put as your default eHarmony picture!


Add a photo that has a full body shot maybe outdoors or in your chair at your desk or whatever looks good - just that shows more of you!


You seem like a really fun, honest, wonderful, and most handsome man!


JavaJava5
 
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Italo2275 is offline Italo2275 Post #22  March 25,2009, 4:01am
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Joined: Nov 2008

Toronto

Posts: 74

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YOU GUYS ARE AWSOME THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS FEEDBACK!!!!
 
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