dmm0205 is offline dmm0205 Post #1  March 21,2009, 7:32pm
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Hi, I am new to EH and wondering..I have two children, one that has autism. My question is, should this be included on my profile? I want to be up front with people but at the same time know that just the word autism will probably make most run away?? Any advice/suggestions?
 
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memyselfandiplus2 is offline memyselfandiplus2 Post #2  March 25,2009, 6:58pm
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I'm a single mom and here is how I think about it. Every child has at least a MINOR disability, whether social, academiic, behavioural or genetic/physical/etc, etc etc etc... Just like every person does. Some people might not agree with me here, feel free to slap me around with a rubber chicken. Shyness can be considered a minor disability, as could reading slightly below grade level, and even gifted children can be classified as disabled because of their uneven development. Would you state your child was unpopular? Or had a learning disability?





You're being upfront by stating you have children, but I don't think in your profile this is something you need to say. If you're very involved with a support or other group dealing with autism then list that in your profile as an interest. If your child is severely autistic and/or it is important to you that your match knows that, then put it in there. Always up to you... just my thoughts If it is a mild case of autism then I wouldn't mention it at all.


PLUS any match that would run away if they say that word wouldn't be a good match for you and your children!!
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  March 25,2009, 7:46pm
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memyselfandiplus2,548824 wrote :

Shyness can be considered a minor disability
As could an inability to define the difference between a “leveraged debtor” and a “speculative debtor” – plausibly a requirement for all citizens, in the bailout era. Yet, nearly none can.


Me my[/b] – that is a great post, and I agree with not disclosing the child’s condition, for largely this logic.
 
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treatmesweetly is offline treatmesweetly Post #4  March 25,2009, 10:24pm
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I recommend not putting any information about your children in your profile (other than having them). Your dating profile is about you. Your matches may want to know things about your children like how many, age, and gender, but their focus should be getting to know you. After you've met a match, if you both decide youwant to seeeach otheragain, then bring it up. However, like most serious topics that could be difficult (to say or to hear), the discussion should be in person, not in email. Good luck!
 
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javajava5 is offline javajava5 Post #5  March 26,2009, 10:16am
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Dear DMM0205,


Welcome to these eharmony Advice (eHA) boards and thanks for posting!


Here's some encouragement for you posted by Mr_Right in another thread under the "Everything Else" section of these Discussion Boards.


____


"In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when a new voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry out at register 4. Kurtis was almost finished, and wanted to get some fresh air, and decided to answer the call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful. She was an older woman (maybe 26, and he was only 22) and he fell in love.


Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled softly at him, took her card and punched out, then left. He looked at her card, BRENDA. He walked out only to see her start walking up the road. Next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket, and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and she accepted. When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work. She simply said it wasn't possible.


He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn't afford a baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter. Reluctantly she accepted his offer for a date for the following Saturday. That Saturday night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that she was unable to go with him. The baby-sitter had called and canceled. To which Kurtis simply said, "Well, let's take the kids with us."


She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again not taking no for an answer, he pressed. Finally Brenda, brought him inside to meet her children. She had an older daughter who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis thought, then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair. He was born a paraplegic with Down Syndrome.


Kurtis asked Brenda, "I still don't understand why the kids can't come with us?" Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities - just like her first husband and father of her children had done. Kurtis was not ordinary - - - he had a different mindset.


That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything Kurtis would take care of him. When he needed to use the restroom, he picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back. The kids loved Kurtis. At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with. A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children. Since then they have added two more kids.


So what happened to Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the check-out girl? Well, Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in Arizona , where he is currently employed as the quarterback of the National Football League Arizona Cardinals and has his Cardinals in the hunt for a possible appearance in the Super Bowl. Is this a surprise ending or could you have guessed that he was not an ordinary person. It should be noted that he also quarterbacked the SL Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. He has also been the NLF's Most Valuable Player twice and the Super Bowl's Most Valuable Player."


____


Written by: Mr_Right


Thread Title : Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the checkout girl


Thread Location: http://www.adviceeharmony.com/discussions/everything-else/kurtis-the-stock-boy-and-brenda-the-checkout-girl/25713.html


____


JavaJava5
 
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softwhisper is offline softwhisper Post #6  March 26,2009, 11:56am
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javajava5,549561 wrote :

Dear DMM0205,


Welcome to these eharmony Advice (eHA) boards and thanks for posting!


Here's some encouragement for you posted by Mr_Right in another thread under the "Everything Else" section of these Discussion Boards.


Snip


Written by: Mr_Right


Thread Title : Kurtis the stock boy and Brenda the checkout girl


Thread Location: http://www.adviceeharmony.com/discussions/everything-else/kurtis-the-stock-boy-and-brenda-the-checkout-girl/25713.html


____


JavaJava5
Java - what a lovely link to reply with. The story itself is very touching as is your effort to draw it to the attention of the OP.
 
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