Advice and Support from Thousands of Users Just Like You

About You Your healthy mind, body, and spirit play a vital role in all the important relationships of your life. Share your advice and insights here.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
eharmonyadvice's Avatar

Moderator

Join Date: Oct 2007

Posts: 852

See profile

You should never have to apologize for having a career and making great money. But the reality is that at some point in your dating life you may encounter a great guy who's intimidated by you. These five tips should help navigate the sometimes sensitive subject of your success.
- April 9th, 2008, 04:36 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#1   Reply With Quote
drfrank0607's Avatar

drfrank0607 is going out for the evening.

Newbie

Join Date: Jan 2008

Posts: 30

See profile



Great Article to think about as a Man....

exactly where is the Successful Woman(or climbing up the corporate, or other levels)at with

their comfort!

(Relates to the founders

of Eharmony writing on Self Concept found in

Warren,Falling in Love for the Right Reason 2005 2nd

Edition)

There are so many of Dr. Warrens' core levels of similarities found in this article,

if you spot them or

have an interest in discussing them and comparing yours (like a manual computer check)to my

profile, I invite you to

message orinvite you to be a friendby going to my profile (press upper left hand below

picture, wait for page

then press send) GOOD LUCK IN YOUR SEARCH ONCE AGAIN

WARMTH TOO

drfrank0607



- April 9th, 2008, 05:13 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#2   Reply With Quote
flocondeneige's Avatar

flocondeneige loves the colors of autumn

Enthusiast

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 971

See profile



I don't particularly like this article and find it to be a bit sexist. It seems to me to imply that successful women are interested in money only (case in point: the advice to not worry about if he makes less money than you or doesn't drives a fancy car, or don't compare financial statements on the the first date, etc.). However, isn't all that advice also pertinent to MEN?! Relationships aren't about money, cars, or assests, no matter if its the man or woman who makes the most money. Any person who sits down to a first date and says, "So tell me about your tax return last year" is asking for trouble

Particularly troubling to me is the last point in the article "Always make time for the man in your life." Certainly, I agree that every woman, no matter what her income level needs to make time for her partner. However, once again what about men? So, is it okay, then for successful men to work 80+ hours a week and ignore their partners? Of course not! Why not then, just entitle this article "The Successful Person's Guide to Dating?"

Lastly, I'm very disappointed that this article discusses success based solely on a financial standpoint. Women (and men) can be very successful, but not be incredibly wealthy. People who work for non-profits or in certain sectors of society are often less likely to take homea 6 figure salary.Or, what about people who are successful at volunteering and hold important roles in community organizations? I, for one, have a graduate degree and a good job, yet I make significantly less that probably just about everyone I know with comparable educational achievements. Does that mean I'm less successful than someone who makes more money than I do? I don't think so at all, it just means I chose a profession where money isn't a priority.

Overall, I think this article was written with undertones of sexism, despite the fact that it contains some important tips for building healthy relationships. I feel the purpose of this article would have been better served if it was written for both men and women. But, those are just my thoughts, whatever they're worth.
- April 9th, 2008, 08:16 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#3   Reply With Quote
NancyG's Avatar

Pacesetter

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 491

See profile



Sorry, but you lost me in the first paragraph! If he's a "great guy," he's not going to be intimidated.



And I am startled at the equating of money with success. You should have titled it "The Type A Financially-Driven Woman's Guide to Dating" or "The Wealthy Woman's Guide to Dating."



Hello! I consider myself a successful professional, but as a public school teacher, I find very, very fewc ompatible men who make less than I do. And by compatible, I mean capable of understanding and meeting my needs for quality discussions about subjects I'm passionate about. That would require intelligence and education, not money.
- April 9th, 2008, 01:29 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#4   Reply With Quote
BuzWeaver's Avatar

BuzWeaver Researching the cure for liberalism

Veteran

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 1,269

See profile

Its one thing if you're successful in your work because you're implementing the methodologies that help you to be successful, however those same methodologies don't necessarily work well in a 'successful relationship'.

- April 9th, 2008, 07:07 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#5   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

flocondeneige's Avatar

flocondeneige loves the colors of autumn

Enthusiast

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 971

See profile

NancyG--I completely agree with you! I work for public schools and we make NO money, yet we are all educated and successful. Unfortunately, apparently, this article associates money with success. So stereotypical! Seems to me EH really missed the mark with this one.
- April 9th, 2008, 07:23 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#6   Reply With Quote
komuso's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Mar 2008

Posts: 25

See profile

Very sad if there are really women in this day and age experiencing what this article is claiming. Intimidated?!? Personally, I think successful women are HOT! As others have already pointed out - there's a lot more to success than just a paycheck. Instead of compromising your principles (as this article seems to be suggesting) I would say close the match and move on.
- April 9th, 2008, 09:41 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#7   Reply With Quote
Amitabh's Avatar

Newbie

Join Date: Apr 2008

Posts: 5

See profile

The adage "The world is your reflection" holds true during this era as well. Successful women/men who respect their opinion find their partners without any sense of intimidation. The 5 tips provided are just that - "tips". Unless two people are a vibrational match, they dont meet. Tips get you started and successful people use "tips" as catapult arrive at a workable decision. Enjoyed reading the article.
- April 10th, 2008, 11:42 am
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#8   Reply With Quote
Joy 2bwith's Avatar

Quick Study

Join Date: Dec 2007

Posts: 121

See profile



Ok - take the article as it is written - some men indeed are intimidated by a woman who has financial assets. If you mention your stock portfolio or what your financial advisor has suggested to help with your wealth management in troubled times like these, they look startled and run. It has happened to me. It takes a strong man to accept financial success in their partner -

So there is success on many levels, but this articleis addressing money and it is a subject that needs comment. Thanks and enjoy the journey.
- April 11th, 2008, 01:48 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#9   Reply With Quote
163lisa's Avatar

163lisa is waiting for warm weather...

Quick Study

Join Date: Nov 2007

Posts: 121

See profile



I have to admit I'm also a little irritated by the assumption that a successful woman is deemed such according to the balance in her bank account. Frankly, I count my greatest "success" as being a great mother. I make good money but reduced my hours by 1/3 quite some time ago so I could be home more with my daughter. I'm also self-employed and work from home.

I consider myself to be very successful, at least in the things that matter to me.
- April 11th, 2008, 07:56 pm
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!Share on Facebook

#10   Reply With Quote

ADVERTISEMENT

Reply

Bookmarks

« Dear Diary........ | Array | virginity »
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“How do you know you won't regret? You don't. It's very human to think "but what if". Having said that, I also believe that you won't be in doubt the day you find the person you want to spend the rest ... ” – Mokkesofie

Join the “How do you know you won't regret” discussion

“Man, get a hold of yourself! Oh uhm maybe you should release that tight vise grip on yourself? AZLBRAX_ wrote : My Beloved Mate won't have sex with me anymore. I'm now forced to pay for it ... ” – roguewolf1

Join the “Men: What Women Really Think About Your Body” discussion

“About 30 seconds. But seriously, for me this isn't a yes/no decision. It's more like my desire to pursue, continue and deepen a relationship with a woman is something that progressively increases ... ” – jayjay

Join the “how many dates before a guy...” discussion

“I love your avatars name. Can our Avatars date? Ok my answers: I'm looking for a money hungry, inconsiderate, shallow (must be shallow!) materialistic, unathletic, lazy, shiftless, gossipping, ... ” – roguewolf1

Join the “'Green Flags': What Do You Want in a Partner?” discussion

“Get with the program man! As soon as a man is born, he's automatically guilty. I thought you knew that. I say this because all too often on the internet per dating, it's all one sided. There are ... ” – roguewolf1

Join the “Frustrated & Confused: Is He A Sexual Addict???” discussion

“My "problem" with the girl who got flaky on me seems so trivial now. I found out today that my sister's husband is having an affair, and wants to end the marriage. I heard it from my father. He ... ” – lostdude

Join the “What can I do?” discussion

“I would tend to think that when she did not want to kiss you, it was the kiss off! As they say talk is cheap let ones actions and deeds speak for them. You still have enough time to find and bring ... ” – Harvey7

Join the “3rd Date Confusion...” discussion

“Ooooh, goody, goody, goody, pet peeves! ~ I hate it when I'm in the ladies and I hear the mobile phone ring in the next cubicle and she answers it. Hello! Some privacy wouldn't go astray here ... ” – meri75

Join the “"I *HATE* it when.....” discussion



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:48 am.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.3.0