tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #1  February 2,2009, 11:46am
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littlebluemonkeymind, wrote :

Ralph Waldo Emerson said ”What you are speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you say.”


1 . What are you when it comes to keeping agreements?


2 . Are you more likely to not keep an agreement you make with yourself (exercise more often, enroll in continuing education classes, etc.) or an agreement you make with someone else (to split chores, be exclusive, etc.)?


3 . Is it worse to break an agreement with yourself or with someone else? Are they the same?


4 . Do you think some agreements are okay to not keep but others are too important to break?


5 . If you had to break an agreement you'd made with someone, how would you approach it? Would you keep it to yourself until they noticed? Would you announce it?


6 . Do you avoid formal agreements? Are you one of those people who think that without a specific statement to promise something, anything goes, or do you view your word as your bond?


7 . Would you trust someone to keep an agreement with you if they couldn't keep an agreement with themselves?


Talk amongst yourselves...I have to get back to work, but this is the question I woke up pondering this morning...
1. Having actually thought about this, I'm admittadly bad but I'd like to think I'm better than most others.





2. I am more likely to keep an agreement I've made with someone else as opposed to keeping one I've made to myself. Probably most of us are like that. Anyone with even the slightest amount of integrity is less likely to break a promise they stated to someone than a commitment they silently made to ones self.





3. I think they are much the same but the results are different. When you break an agreement with someone else you lose trust.





4. I used to think so sometimes, but as one matures, one should realize that you are only as good as your word and it doesn't matter how big or how small a commitment is, it's just as important to honor your word.





5. You always feel better when you come clean and clean it up. In addition, you don't lose the trust. In fact, by heading it off, you gain trust and respect.





6. We all avoid making a commitment when we don't have to, myself included. Though that's not to say anything goes. And yes, I believe my word is my bond. One fault of mine is I am real careful about what I promise others, and therefore only make small promises. Coincidentally, that's something I happen to be working on.





7. Wow. I think I just realized I may not be as trustworthy as I thought. To answer the question, probably yes because one wouldn't necessarily know if another couldn't keep a promise to themself, and you may know them to be a trustworthy person based on your past experience with them.





Good question LBMM. Thanks for the food for thought.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #2  February 2,2009, 11:52am
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Ralph Waldo Emerson said ”What you are speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you say.”


1. What are you when it comes to keeping agreements?


2. Are you more likely to not keep an agreement you make with yourself (exercise more often, enroll in continuing education classes, etc.) or an agreement you make with someone else (to split chores, be exclusive, etc.)?


3. Is it worse to break an agreement with yourself or with someone else? Are they the same?


4. Do you think some agreements are okay to not keep but others are too important to break?


5. If you had to break an agreement you'd made with someone, how would you approach it? Would you keep it to yourself until they noticed? Would you announce it?


6. Do you avoid formal agreements? Are you one of those people who think that without a specific statement to promise something, anything goes, or do you view your word as your bond?


7. Would you trust someone to keep an agreement with you if they couldn't keep an agreement with themselves?


Talk amongst yourselves...I have to get back to work, but this is the question I woke up pondering this morning...
 
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D_Lion is offline D_Lion Post #3  February 3,2009, 3:57pm
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2. Are you more likely to not keep an agreement you make with yourself (exercise more often, enroll in continuing education classes, etc.) or an agreement you make with someone else (to split chores, be exclusive, etc.)?[/b]
I’ve never thought of myself as “making an agreement with myself,” though I do honor my promises (as I should , since I am careful to make sure my promises are those I can meet.) I also try to avoid making a promise at all, and then preferably a conditional promise, unless I get one of value in return, to avoid an avalanche of liabilities I would inevitably come up short on.
3. Is it worse to break an agreement with yourself or with someone else? Are they the same?[/b]
I see it as much worse when someone else is involved. You don’t get to the gym, so what? You betray someone’s trust, even in a small way, there may be ramifications … he decides to leave, you don’t get the promotion …
I’m a big believer that we lose grasp of the path not taken because we didn’t see it when a seemingly innocuous decision was reached.
4. Do you think some agreements are okay to not keep but others are too important to break?[/b]
There is a clear hierarchy: financial security, job, school (at the time), personal safety, dates, family, other stuff; in that order. I make my commitments in light of that hierarchy (if I wasn’t sure I could “be at the restaurant at 6:00,” I could promise “I’ll call when I leave work, which I will try to do at 5:30.&rdquo
As long as the hierarchy is known, or the conditional limitations are conveyed when the promise is made, I do not feel this is a breech. The imperative is not to use it falsely.
5. If you had to break an agreement you'd made with someone, how would you approach it? Would you keep it to yourself until they noticed? Would you announce it?[/b]
Announce as soon as the conflict / incapacity became apparent; anything less is a flaw of character.
6. Do you avoid formal agreements? Are you one of those people who think that without a specific statement to promise something, anything goes, or do you view your word as your bond?[/b]
I’m hard to understand this question … I don’t see a spoken agreement as inherently informal. Anyhow, I think people who will weasel out of their spoken agreements will weasel out of their written ones too, so what’s the difference? In my experience, I find that more people outright lie than carefully negotiate their commitments.
7. Would you trust someone to keep an agreement with you if they couldn't keep an agreement with themselves?[/b]
Hmm. I haven’t thought about it … but, this seems to invite a logical exercise: surely almost every person who smokes or is overweight or drinks or gambles too much has promised themselves they would stop or cut back?
Therefore is it not a necessity that any characteristic which commonly gives rise to these kind of personal commitments but yet is still displayed is an indicator a person is undependable?
 
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Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #4  February 3,2009, 4:31pm

It's almost time folks.....

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2. Are you more likely to not keep an agreement you make with yourself (exercise more often, enroll in continuing education classes, etc.) or an agreement you make with someone else (to split chores, be exclusive, etc.)? With others, I'm as reliable as they come & never break an agreement with someone (friend, boyfriend, work-related) unless there's a very good reason (like I become sick, my car breaks down, I have to go away unexpectedly on work-related meetings etc). I'll often break promises to myself though - I've been promising to tidy a closet in my hallway for months


3. Is it worse to break an agreement with yourself or with someone else? Are they the same? I have no problem breaking promises with myself, although I'm aware that it's a form of "not looking after myself" on some level. I do, however, have issues not being reliable - most who know me, know that I always come through, barring any sudden disaster.


4. Do you think some agreements are okay to not keep but others are too important to break? No, not when it comes to agreements you make with others.


5. If you had to break an agreement you'd made with someone, how would you approach it? Would you keep it to yourself until they noticed? Would you announce it? It would be announced with as much advanced warning as possible .


6. Do you avoid formal agreements? Are you one of those people who think that without a specific statement to promise something, anything goes, or do you view your word as your bond? One of my pet-peeves is unreliable people, & I dislike wishy-washy behavior - my word is my bond, & I respect others for similar behaviors.


7. Would you trust someone to keep an agreement with you if they couldn't keep an agreement with themselves? Yes (until proven otherwise).
 
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m8se69 is offline m8se69 Post #5  February 3,2009, 4:45pm
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Red Sox Girl,469346 wrote :

2. Are you more likely to not keep an agreement you make with yourself (exercise more often, enroll in continuing education classes, etc.) or an agreement you make with someone else (to split chores, be exclusive, etc.)? With others, I'm as reliable as they come & never break an agreement with someone (friend, boyfriend, work-related) unless there's a very good reason (like I become sick, my car breaks down, I have to go away unexpectedly on work-related meetings etc). I'll often break promises to myself though - I've been promising to tidy a closet in my hallway for months


3. Is it worse to break an agreement with yourself or with someone else? Are they the same? I have no problem breaking promises with myself, although I'm aware that it's a form of "not looking after myself" on some level. I do, however, have issues not being reliable - most who know me, know that I always come through, barring any sudden disaster.


4. Do you think some agreements are okay to not keep but others are too important to break? No, not when it comes to agreements you make with others.


5. If you had to break an agreement you'd made with someone, how would you approach it? Would you keep it to yourself until they noticed? Would you announce it? It would be announced with as much advanced warning as possible .


6. Do you avoid formal agreements? Are you one of those people who think that without a specific statement to promise something, anything goes, or do you view your word as your bond? One of my pet-peeves is unreliable people, & I dislike wishy-washy behavior - my word is my bond, & I respect others for similar behaviors.


7. Would you trust someone to keep an agreement with you if they couldn't keep an agreement with themselves? Yes (until proven otherwise).

Wow...you just saved me the time of typing. Thanks RSG!


Exactly what she said ^^^.
 
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lacedwithhope is offline lacedwithhope Post #6  February 3,2009, 5:19pm
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Ralph Waldo Emerson said ”What you are speaks so loudly, I cannot hear what you say.”


^^^ Great quote ! ^^^





1. What are you when it comes to keeping agreements? I'm big on 'keeping promises' and discuss it regularly with my kids as to how important it is. 'Mean what you say, say what you mean' and have integrity, blah blah blah mom we get it, okay? LOL


2. Are you more likely to not keep an agreement you make with yourself (exercise more often, enroll in continuing education classes, etc.) or an agreement you make with someone else (to split chores, be exclusive, etc.)? Very likely to keep all agreements with others, usually good (but not great) with those I make with myself, too.



3. Is it worse to break an agreement with yourself or with someone else? Are they the same? No, they're not the same, but when our actions affect others I think they have more significance. Therefore it's worse to break an agreement with someone else, IMO.


4. Do you think some agreements are okay to not keep but others are too important to break?


5. If you had to break an agreement you'd made with someone, how would you approach it? Would you keep it to yourself until they noticed? Would you announce it? Examine what happened first, apologize, assure them it's not typical behavior of mine, what I'll do differently next time to keep agreement.


6. Do you avoid formal agreements? Are you one of those people who think that without a specific statement to promise something, anything goes, or do you view your word as your bond? My word is my bond, I suppose but I don't think about it much or remind people of this.


7. Would you trust someone to keep an agreement with you if they couldn't keep an agreement with themselves? I'd be wary, but I'd consider that some people who don't have a lot of willpower are still reliable when it comes to (promises to) others.
 
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littlebluemonkeymind is offline littlebluemonkeymind Post #7  February 3,2009, 10:07pm
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Ya'll are so very cool.


 
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Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #8  February 4,2009, 3:41am

It's almost time folks.....

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You too LB
 
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livinagin is offline livinagin Post #9  February 4,2009, 8:59am
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I think Tweet pretty much captured all of my answers. Good question! Keep'em coming!
 
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