The Case for Separate Finances

The Case for Separate Finances

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The Case for Separate Finances


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That70sMichelle is offline That70sMichelle Post #41  August 15,2008, 7:54pm
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It is important to have financial discussions early on. In my last relationship before we moved in together we determined how we were going to divide living expenses. We NEVER fought about money. Because he bought the house we lived in, I agreed to pay the electric, cable, and telephone bill. Because I cooked I also paid for all the groceries. It was agreed that if he wanted to eat out - he paid. It came out to a pretty equal arrangment and worked really well for us.


I didn't care what he spent his money on as long as his responsibilities were covered and he never asked about my spending as long as my responsibilities were covered.
 
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boyd316 is offline boyd316 Post #42  September 13,2008, 4:13am
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Here's a scenario I was wondering you guys weigh in on. I've been dating for close to 2 years now. We both live with our parents and I would like to buy a house soon. At this point my significant other would like to join finances. She wants the house to be ours although I would be making most of the payments and have saved a significant amount of money for a down payment. I would like to buy the house and have seperate finances in case we should seperate. While we remain together the house would be hers as well. This has caused many arguments and could be the thing that ends the relationship. I tend to be the saver while she seems to have an unrealistic view on finances. I often get heat for not wanting to go on vacations however I'd like to see her put that money onto her debt. Please help!
 
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jayjay is offline jayjay Post #43  September 13,2008, 7:35am
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...things seem to have gotten quiet around here.

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boyd316,256381 wrote :

Here's a scenario I was wondering you guys weigh in on. I've been dating for close to 2 years now. We both live with our parents and I would like to buy a house soon. At this point my significant other would like to join finances. She wants the house to be ours although I would be making most of the payments and have saved a significant amount of money for a down payment. I would like to buy the house and have seperate finances in case we should seperate. While we remain together the house would be hers as well. This has caused many arguments and could be the thing that ends the relationship. I tend to be the saver while she seems to have an unrealistic view on finances. I often get heat for not wanting to go on vacations however I'd like to see her put that money onto her debt. Please help!
Sounds like there's a subtext to the situation going on that says she's bucking for more committment than you're willing to make. Also, you might want to think about living on your own for a while, rather than each of you going from living with mom & dad directlyto living with a partner. Feels a little bit odd.
 
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London25 is offline London25 Post #44  September 13,2008, 10:08am
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boyd316,256381 wrote :

Here's a scenario I was wondering you guys weigh in on. I've been dating for close to 2 years now. We both live with our parents and I would like to buy a house soon. At this point my significant other would like to join finances. She wants the house to be ours although I would be making most of the payments and have saved a significant amount of money for a down payment. I would like to buy the house and have seperate finances in case we should seperate. While we remain together the house would be hers as well. This has caused many arguments and could be the thing that ends the relationship. I tend to be the saver while she seems to have an unrealistic view on finances. I often get heat for not wanting to go on vacations however I'd like to see her put that money onto her debt. Please help!
Get an agreement before you move in together. You could end up loosing half of your savings if you split. Where I live, if you live together for six months you are considered common law. After that, the "home" is split 50/50 unless there is an agreement. Her debts may be considered yours as well.


Money is the cause of many,probably most breakups. It just ended my x's marriage of 8 months. He just pulled the wool over her eyes.


I hate to say this, but maybe ending the relationship might be the right thing in the long run. It is very hard if one of the partners is expected to save and be the responsible one, while the other just spends.
 
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