I'm a patient pleaser too. I don't think I'm a pushover, but with maturity I've learned that most things aren't a big enough deal to argue about. The funny thing to me is that I'm in a field which requires a certain amount of assertiveness.
I found a lot of the answers not really what I would do, so had to pick the closest. or instance, the one about the fingers in the car door. I wouldn't sneak a packet of peas out of the freezer, I'd just find the bath with the beer in ice in it (it was a party, after all) and put my hand in there for a while.
Or ask for some ice. How hard is that?
I got the juggler too, and while the description started off OK, there was a sting in the tail (darn Scorpio must have written it) - "try getting out on your own...."? Huh? I've been on my own for 11 years, I think I can manage! LOL
Patient Pleaser here as well. The description is off though, it does make it sound like being a pushover. I don't let anything bottle up, then again, not too much phases me as being that big of a deal.
I took that test three times. The first time to see what I was (also "patient pleaser"), and then the second two times to see how different my answers would have to be in order to be something different. As it turns out, you have to answer quite a bit differently, which leads me to assume that there are probably only three possible outcomes. The third time through, I got the "thoughtful juggler," but some of my answers that time around sounded pretty self-absorbed and pushy to me. No offense to anyone who actually got that, but I think the test isn't quite right. After all, I only let people walk all over me if I'm getting paid for it.
I got "thoughtful juggler" too and agree that some of the options did seem a little self-absorbed/pushy. For many of the questions, I had a response that wasn't listed so chose the one I felt was closest to my way of thinking. Still, the outcome is a pretty accurate description.
Maybe you're a former drama queen/king who learned to care about the feelings of others. Or maybe you're a former duckling who has blossomed into a swan, and you're no longer afraid to make demands of the other critters who swim in your pond. But you're definitely a juggler—you're capable of sympathizing with the needs of your loved ones, while still being self-assertive enough never to get stepped on.
Kudos to you for being strong and expressing what you want in a relationship! You're definitely not high-maintenance. But you might see what happens if you were to go-it-alone on occasion. Once in a while, ask yourself whether you're trying to get attention rather than fixing a problem that you can easily handle by yourself
I found a lot of the answers not really what I would do, so had to pick the closest. or instance, the one about the fingers in the car door. I wouldn't sneak a packet of peas out of the freezer, I'd just find the bath with the beer in ice in it (it was a party, after all) and put my hand in there for a while.
Or ask for some ice. How hard is that?
I got the juggler too, and while the description started off OK, there was a sting in the tail (darn Scorpio must have written it) - "try getting out on your own...."? Huh? I've been on my own for 11 years, I think I can manage! LOL
That was me as well, and I felt the same way. Duh...I've been on my own for 8 years, think I'm doing pretty darn good!
And I DO feel like I give a lot, don't sweat stuff, though a few years ago it might have been different. But I also think with age comes self-esteem to give, but not be pushed around.
I found a lot of the answers not really what I would do, so had to pick the closest. or instance, the one about the fingers in the car door. I wouldn't sneak a packet of peas out of the freezer, I'd just find the bath with the beer in ice in it (it was a party, after all) and put my hand in there for a while.
Or ask for some ice. How hard is that?
I got the juggler too, and while the description started off OK, there was a sting in the tail (darn Scorpio must have written it) - "try getting out on your own...."? Huh? I've been on my own for 11 years, I think I can manage! LOL
I agree with you about the answers. That one in particular, I would have also just asked for some ice. That I think would be the common sense thing to do. All in all, they were not very good options and for several it was a matter of picking between two options that were the least unlike me.
No one high maintenance yet? I am doubtful that many people using these boards are going to come out as high maintenance based on what people write. I don't think this group is representative of the general dating population as a whole.
I agree about the questions....and I'd do the same thing with the ice. Most of the possible answers seemed extreme to me: like the one about your response to a bad day at work. Two of the choices were variations ongrin-and-bear it/walk it off, and two involved demanding that your significant other come over and do something nice for you (either make dinner or take you out). If I've had a bad day, I call or email. He does the same. Nobody hides their feelings, and nobody is at anybody else's beck and call. Seems to be working for us.
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No.... ... –
Wiseman2
If you have yet to meet, you don't know him or whether you two will form a connection. Connections formed over e-mail tend to be fantasies. You will see this echoed over and over by experienced ... –
shapeShifter79
Then it's a bit premature to worry about being friend-zoned. The first step is to go out on dates!
What specific steps did you try?
How many women did you ask out in person?
Did you buy a ... –
shapeShifter79
Hi eccemuliere and welcome to eHA.On an internet forum like eHA, you're going to get a wide variety of responses; some you'll like and some you won't. It's best to focus on the ones that speak to ... –
Sassafras54
Although I have ignored my gut at times, in hindsight it's always been right, in terms of recognizing bad choices.
QUOTE]
But once we realize our past mistakes, we can use our reason to clue us ... –
eccemuliere
Do you have something completely stupid to talk about? Come here. Talk. It's a simple two step process. Please have a good sense of humor about all this. It is good for the heart.
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