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Are You High Maintenance?

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Are You High Maintenance?


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Allie_Kat is offline Allie_Kat Post #101  June 22,2009, 9:25am
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The Patient Pleaser

You're clearly a loving, understanding, go-along-to-get-along person. But you may want to address whether you're getting as much as you're giving. It may be that you're simply not addressing your own demands. It may be that you yourself are dating someone high-maintenance, even bossy. But whenever there's a hint of disagreement, you're willing to give up your aspirations for love and attention so that the other person can have his or her way.
Don't for a second lose your pleasant demeanor. But don't be afraid to push back once in a while with a request for a change or a demand for attention. Even getting into an argument can be healthier in the long run than bottling up your emotions. And you may just find that the other person respects your love more when you stick up for yourself.

Sounds like me. It's awful actually...I'm usually getting taken advantage of... hence the "Don't be afraid to push back" part really stood out to me. Good advice!
 
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Seibahbah is offline Seibahbah Post #102  June 23,2009, 6:17pm
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More like People Pleaser.  They are the ones that are so caught up in it matters to them that people like them.  If you dont particularly like the people yourself, who cares what they think.People are more drawn to arrogance and rudeness, it is an attractive quality, dont ask me
why, it just is. I suppose its the hard to obtain and the mystique of the person. Cause once they got you and theres no more chase, no more mystery, NO MORE interest either. Allow the others to
do for you and perhaps dont be so Ol reliable, predictable.
 
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mjbguera is offline mjbguera Post #103  June 27,2009, 10:34pm
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Patient Pleaser? Yes, if you count that I'm pleasing myself by pleasing others when it doesn't cost me anything to not act like a jerk.
 
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dnnmllr is offline dnnmllr Post #104  June 29,2009, 9:13am
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This is an excerpt from the results of my responses to the eharmonys' quiz, Are You High Maintenance?".....Don't for a second lose your pleasant demeanor. But don't be afraid to push back once in a while with a request for a change or a demand for attention. Even getting into an argument can be healthier in the long run than bottling up your emotions. And you may just find that the other person respects your love more when you stick up for yourself....." Thank you.
I wish all threaders well.
 
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brneyedangel is offline brneyedangel — Advice Member-Moderator Post #105  June 29,2009, 6:30pm
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"...you're capable of sympathizing with the needs of your loved ones, while still being self-assertive enough never to get stepped on."
Yep, that's pretty much me.  Definitely not high maintenance--who has time for it?
 
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Rob_UK is offline Rob_UK Post #106  July 3,2009, 12:06pm
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The Lone Wolf



That does not bode well for my search for a partner - although wolves do mate for life!!!
The Lone Wolf

High Maintenance? Not at this house! Neediness never crosses your threshold, and you're not in the habit of forcing people to bend to your will. If it comes to that, you'd rather go it alone.
That's not to say you want to go through life alone—when love comes your way, you embrace it. But you always let the other person have lots of space, and like to have quite a bit for yourself as well. It's no skin off your nose if they want to have friends over or go out and do something you don't want to do. And you don't mind being by yourself once in a while and forging your own path.
But remember while you're out there being the lone wolf, even wolves snuggle up in the den on cold nights. You may find you both feel more loved if you enjoy some activities together. Don't stop being easygoing—it's great that you don't bully people into doing what you want to do or doing things for you. But make sure people have an opening to be with you, even to help you or dote on you, because love sometimes means allowing yourself to be loved.



So...who wants to go hunting.....can you run

It is actually really like me, I respect other peoples space and choice but expect the same in return.





Rob



(howwwwwwwwl)
Last edited by Rob_UK; July 3,2009 at 12:10pm.
 
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Dee01 is offline Dee01 Post #107  July 4,2009, 9:45pm
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Hats off to "The Patient Pleaser" - you don't sweat the small stuff and you know how to enjoy life. I'm sure you know how to put your foot down when necessary. I know I do and I'm proud to be a "Patient Pleaser".
 
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beloved0000 is offline beloved0000 Post #108  July 6,2009, 7:10am
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This quiz has me pegged as a "Patient Pleaser." My friends and family members label me as high maintenance.

Go figure.

Why skip a party if I slam my fingers in the door of the car? I'll bet there's ice inside. And seafood restaurants always have more than seafood on the menu.

I would think high maintenance questions would be more like:
1) he suggests you try the ____ on the menu. You say:
a. OK
b. I don't know
c. no thank you
d. ask why he brought you to THIS restaurant
or,

2) You had a bad day at work and really need to talk to him. You:
a. call him and cry
b. call him and ask to talk awhile
c. call him and ask him to come hold you awhile
d. forget the whole thing, he doesn't want to meet your needs anyway.

or

3) You need help with a task at your house. You:
a. ask him to help
b. ask him to hire someone who can do it
c. hire someone yourself and tell him hoping he will get the hint
d. do it yourself and don't ask

or

4) He hints about Rachel Ray's cooking techniques. You:
a. burst into tears because he "thinks you're fat"
b. listen intently and learn some new techniques
c. suggest some techniques of your own
d. tell him to "bite you" and leave

That's high maintenance to me.

I'm pretty sure high maintenance means different things to different people. If I require attention, that doesn't make me high maintenance, it makes me human. If I have incessant emotional needs and can't function without being in a relationship, THAT makes me high maintenance.
 
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sweettealover463 is offline sweettealover463 Post #109  July 6,2009, 8:45am
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The Thoughtful Juggler - that's cool.  Seems I've grown.  I think I would have been a pleaser before and never spoke up about what I wanted.  I have learned how important it is to communicate in a relationship!
 
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vlong48 is offline vlong48 Post #110  July 15,2009, 9:40am
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hum I'm a patrient pleaser, no I just think I have a lot of common sense......
 
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