Dating Older Women: 8 Things you Need to Know


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eharmonyadvice is offline eharmonyadvice — Advice Official Moderator Post #1  November 18,2008, 9:44pm

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You know what they say: Like a fine wine, women get better with age. Here's what you're looking at if you're thinking about dating an older women.
 
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Aussie_Devilette is offline Aussie_Devilette Post #2  November 19,2008, 12:05pm
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eharmonyadvice, wrote :


You know what they say: Like a fine wine, women get better with age. Here's what you're looking at if you're thinking about dating an older women.


Did I miss something? Where are the 8 things?


As an older woman, I'll give you my 8 things!
[*]Actions speak louder than words - don't say stuff you aren't willing to live.[*]Don't act like you are looking for a surrogate mother - hang up the wet towls![*]Be punctual - time is running out, you know! LOL[*]Be self-sufficient financially - and this doesn't mean be a millionaire - just have a job![*]Be single.[*]Be truly emotionally available - we've been around long enough to spot a rebound or an opportunist a mile away.[*]If she says she's not into younger men, believe her - don't pester! Mostly applicable in nightclubs and just makes YOU look desperate or as if you think older women are an "easy" target.[*]An older woman is likely to be fairly independent - don't expect her to be at your beck and call all the time.[/list]
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #3  November 19,2008, 12:45pm

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1. The reason for the “Atta boy” and “congratulations” from your guy friends


2. There once was a man named Oedipus Rex, you may have heard about his odd complex; his name appears in Freud's index because he looooved his mother. =======x


3. Don’t try to bs them. They have more experience then you.


4. What someone means when they say the word “cougar” to you.


5. If your mom says that word in a sentence, it really was a Freudian Slip.


6. They tend to have expensive taste.


7. If you’re watching TV with her and you didn’t get a joke on “MASH”, she can explain it to you.


8. When you go to your room in the basement of your parent’s house, don’t mistake your mom’s panties for your girlfriend’s.
 
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Nicomacheus is offline Nicomacheus Post #4  November 20,2008, 12:31am
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What I so like about this advice--and any advice given on these boards by the eHarmony advice team--is it's so broad and general that it's renderedfunctionally contentless and, by extension, meaningless. But I'm sure their hearts are in the right place, so they get credit for that.


Now asan older man--older than what I can't say--I'llgleefully give almost anyone my eight, um, things about, um, dating older women. Practically everything Aussie_Devilette wrote can be recast in terms ofmy eight things (which I may then expand to eighty-eight things).


As far as number three goes, time is running out for all of us! (Therefore my career is only temporary.) With regard to number five, well, I have always been single (as in being a single individual).Pretaining to number seven, I'm just not into "younger women" (and never have been). Gee, am I not nothing but consistent?


Number 7 on LoneStarState's list is atough onefor me. Not only do I know all the jokes on "M*A*S*H," I also know all the lines, which makes me the one to have to explain them all!


A thankless task, indeed, but quite revealing at times.
 
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Aussie_Devilette is offline Aussie_Devilette Post #5  November 20,2008, 1:15am
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Arrrrrrrrrrrh - well, I've learnt something about how eHarmony works. From the front screen you get the article and the comments - from the actual Discussion Board you see the comments but not the article. Hence the start of my previous post! I have now read the article!


I think point 1 of the article is particularly valid. Men in their mid-30s quite often see themselves as never having children. Five years later at 40, their biological clock kicks in and they really want to be a father. Nicomacheus, it may still happen to you, you know, you are still YOUNG at 45!


While point 5 may be valid, let's consider the other side. All the women I know have worked ALL their lives and are quite financially independent. One of the things we worry about is some young man without the same earning capacity seeing us as a sugar-mummy - not my style, thanks.


Most of the rest of it I thought was reasonably spot on. The health issue IS a consideration, even if 50 is the new 40.


And trust me, we've heard more than any 35 year-old is likely to know for another 10 years!
 
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Artie49 is offline Artie49 Post #6  November 21,2008, 10:13am
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I married a woman 13 years older. She didn't look it, and still doesn't. Our kids are in their twenties and their friends are none the wiser. She is 72 and people think she is 50. In bed she looks 40. We were chaste with each other until we married, and have been faithful since. She is young at heart. Some younger women are old before they grow up. I say go with someone because of who they are and don't worry about a few years. Over 15 to 20 years difference would likely bring to the fore the issues you mentioned.
 
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LonelyStarState is offline LonelyStarState Post #7  November 21,2008, 5:37pm

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Aussie_Devilette,351502 wrote :

Arrrrrrrrrrrh - well, I've learnt something about how eHarmony works. From the front screen you get the article and the comments - from the actual Discussion Board you see the comments but not the article. Hence the start of my previous post! I have now read the article!
its more fun if you skip the article =oP
 
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totti is offline totti Post #8  November 21,2008, 8:22pm
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Age 42:There isn't a day where I don't get compliments regarding how great I look. People dont believe that I am 42 and I love hearing it over and over again. Don't let age fool you. Older women have more substance.
 
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yeoww is offline yeoww Post #9  November 21,2008, 9:52pm
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All well said!


I'd add that as a "woman of a certain age" at this point in my life I'm happy with myself and would like very much to meet a man who is also happy with himself. I can't fix other people, I already have kids and don't look to raise another!


And while I'm not looking for a man with an income to take care of me and my kids, I'm not open to having someone un- or under-employed in my life who's looking for a sugar mama.


I've been approached by men in both of these categories. Becoming single at 51 was eye-opening!
 
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shadyhollow58 is offline shadyhollow58 Post #10  November 22,2008, 8:07pm
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At age 50 I'm finding it slim pickins out there so I've considered looking at younger men. My concern is same as other poster - some underachieving guy looking for sugar-mommy. OR - having my income be a problem for him (I make more than the average person, let alone a female, although I don't live large). And I'm not going to be popping out any kids!


Guess I should just get out there and give it a shot -
 
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