I've been dating a guy for about 2 months - we are both divorced - he has kids and shares custody. He seems interested and keen.
But there are times I feel he is being secretive and I am unsure of whether I am being overly suspicious or whether he is being secretive. For example, I will tell him my plans - things like tomorrow nite I am going to the movies with Jane . He will tell me if he has his children but for other outings he will just say he is going out and later he'll mention that his friend was a she in conversation but never a name.
I'll talk about my friends by name - but he'll mostly refer to them by something descriptive about them like "my polish friend."
I think some of this is normal - but some of it makes me think he may be still dating other people - and I guess we may not have clearly drawn that line yet.... Am I being overly suspicious?
Should I bring it up with him? Is it a red flag?
It's sounds like him, he still is guarded (some fallout from divorce perhaps? Is he newly divorced?)  If you like him, keep dating him. Don't make an issue of it yet. Where it might be "both him and you" The two of you are not on the same page with where the relationship is going. It sounds like it's not going forward at the speed you want it to, and he wants it at the pace he has set. If you guys make it to the three month mark, maybe you should attempt to gently ask him about "exclusivity" if that is a concern for you, because time's a wastin'-- You don't want to be wondering these kinds of things and you've been with him for a whole year, do you? If he doesn't want to be exclusive, then avail yourself of your other options, as well.
|