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I'm newly married(2 months ago) and a majority of the time I am happier than I have ever been. However, about twice a week, I feel like he is covering up something or lyeing to me. I need to know if this is my own personal problem based on things that other men have done to me in the past(baggage) OR if I should follow my intuition that something isn't right. This feeling is driving me crazy and I am finding myself getting angry at him more often because of things I can't prove. I have no proof so I have no reason to tell him I'm mad at him. I don't want to ruin my new marriage, so please help by telling me whether or not, based on the facts if most people would feel suspicious or if it's all in my head because I've been played so many times.
Here's the scenario: I am in my late 30's, divorced 3yrs ago after a 12 yr marriage to someone who cheated on me multiple times. Dated another man for 1 1/2 yrs afterward who I fell for but he was very disrespectful and after finally catching him with incoming texts on his phone(this had been going on the whole yr and a half) it turned out he was still seeing his ex the entire time but kept it secret because she was married. This has also happened to me with men I dated prior to my first marriage. Every, single time, including Now with my new husband, each of those men constantly told me how much they loved me, how perfect they thought I was, how lucky they were to have me, etc. But each and everyone of them cheated on me when they were telling me they loved me(minus 1/4 of them).
So now I'm newly married to what I feel is my soul mate. When we first met, it was as if we had known each other forever. It's like hanging out with my best friend all the time plus having great sexual chemistry. But, here's what's troubling me: I have caught him lyeing to me over stupid little things(like, if he's on his way home he calls and says he will be home shortly, and that he's at so and so intersection, but then, as we are talking, I hear the truck door/key chimes as if he is just getting in or out of the truck. Why would someone lie about something so stupid?) He also lies about how often he talks to his daughters, mother. This worries me because when I first met him, people told me that he was still sleeping with her. He said that people made it up and I believed him but then why would they talk so often and if nothing was going on, then why would he lie about it? (he is deleting her calls and texts on his cell) But common sense tells me that he would not have married me if he still wanted her. I am also scared because the last 3 weeks, he has been trying new sexual positions-where is he learning these? I did find a porn site on the history on his blackberry. But also, he has a very high sex drive, usually wants to about 3-4 times a day. The last 2 weeks, it's only 1x every other day. He has been stressed due to bad finances right now so I have been trying to convince myself that's it. But, he also is not where he says he is(he's self employed) and there are unaccounted hours during the day. It's now gotten to where we don't talk. We went somewhere last weekend, and during the 2hr drive, I tried to make conversation, but he had no responses. This has been happening after he gets home late from work everynight. We sit and watch t.v, he wants to cuddle but he ignores my conversation. Is it just stress? I also keep thinking back to when we were dating and he had women all over the place still calling him for booty calls and he still text them back instead of ignoring them. He had to change his cell # when we got married to stop the calls and texts. (we only dated for 6mths prior to getting married so I blew off the texts/calls figuring that was bound to happen for awhile til they found out he wasn't single anymore. Even though it hurt.) I am now finding myself suspicious of his phone calls. He is on that thing 2000 minutes a month! Sometimes he doesn't answer it when I am with him but we are not doing anything. He always used to answer it. Now he will just let it ring sometimes if I'm near him during the day. I find that suspicious because it's not because we are talking or doing anything. He always picks up the phone when we are having a good conversation and then he forgets where he left off.
Help, is my past baggage messing with my head, or is my intuition correct. I don't want to mess my new marriage up, but my gut just feels so strongly that somehtings not right. However, this man tells me how happy I make him, every single day and how much he loves me. Can you please give me your opinion of whether this is in my head or cause to be suspisious?
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