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Female point of view: I would like you to tell me your situation and fears before we have sex. Otherwise I might assume you're just not that into me.
I can imagine this would be a difficult conversation to start. And I would appreciate that you did it.
Some unsolicited advice: (1) While you're working on finding solutions, there are many sexual activities that don't depend on "performance". Get creative with that! (2) Get a medical checkup in case your problem is some treatable medical thing. (3) There are therapists who specialize in sexual problems. Look for one of those. As with any therapist, be careful who you choose to work with. (4) #'s2 & 3 are only if this is a longterm chronic thing. The occasional mishap is nothing. #1 is good all the time! Sex doesn't have to be just the Big O. The entire body (including brain) is erogenous.
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