I'm not sure I understand how the idea has been emphasized to you, but these are my thoughts.

If I ask God to give me something in particular.....then I want God to cooperate with my plan. Bargaining is often involved.

If, on the other hand, I ask God to give me the Courage and the Strength to pick myself up when I've been brought low.....I am trying to fit myself into His plan.

The second way is far more helpful, in my estimation, to the development Psyche and Soul.

j8a