Is no one going to champion the promiscuous?

I would've thought there's a lot to be said for dating someone who has had a lot of sex with different people and is looking to settle down.

In fact I'll go as far to say I'm always dumb founded by Islam promising 42 virgins in heaven. Too many to get along nicely and too few for one a week for your first year. Surely a couple of professional hookers and a cuddly one who can cook would be better? No?