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To me it's not a matter of "counting" or keeping score, or validating myself by appreciating how much attention I get from women. What everyone is looking for is someone with whom they can share a mutual attraction, a two-way relationship. When I say I can't find someone, that's what I mean - I can't find someone I'm interested in who is also interested in me. One-way affection doesn't 'count' because it's not a relationship, and a relationship is what I want.
It's nice that you consider a girl's feelings and don't want to hurt her when you 'let her down.' But really, what else can you do? How exactly would you make that 'count?' By pretending to return the interest? I think you'd agree that wouldn't be very considerate.
There are people who collect 'admirers' and string them along like trophies. I don't want to be like that. But I'm also not going to date someone I'm not interested in just because they like me. That wouldn't be fair to either of us.
Statements like you mentioned may be technically incorrect, but they weren't meant as a technical analysis of the situation. Just understand when you hear that there is an implied condition attached - they are only considering people they are interested in. Why should it be any other way?
"None of us can choose where we will love."
(Erik - from the book Phantom, by Susan Kay.)
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