This is actually not a rant, more an apparent aspect of human nature that I find curious and want to discuss.

You're probably familiar with the phenomenon I'm talking about. It's the woman with three or four "guy friends" who follow her around like little puppy dogs, who complains that she can't find someone to date. It's the guy who complains when no one responds to his messages, and gets embarrassed and angry when he finally does get an interested message, but from a chubby girl.

Why is that? Undesired as it may be, why do we ignore, and maybe even devalue, the attention of someone we're not interested in? Is it because it allows us to make grand, dramatic statements like "There's NO ONE who's interested in me." Or "There are NO GOOD MEN left in the world?" Shouldn't we be pleased that there's someone out there who's proved us wrong?

I've caught myself getting actively disappointed when someone I'm not at all attracted to shows some interest. Not only do I have to diplomatically find a way to let them down, I'm even more disappointed (maybe even borderline insulted) that it wasn't someone I could be completely into. And then I feel like a heel for feeling that way toward someone who simply doesn't match up to my hopes or standards, while I simultaneously settle back into the comfortable complaints of "Ugh! I can't find ANYONE!"

Note that I'm never rude to anyone who messages me, and though I really do appreciate the interest and them taking their time to express it, I just can't get emotionally excited about it. Even if I make a good friend from the exchange, I still feel lonely and disappointed when the women I chase don't return in the interest. It's like those women who *did* show interest just don't "count."

Since I've both had this done to me, and done this myself (I sure understand why women don't always write back on dating sites...) I figure I can't be the only one who feels this way. Anyone else find themselves in this situation? Anyone else feel a little ashamed about it? Anyone have any theories as to why we're "wired" this way?