Emme - I'd like to echo posts particularly from Hazmat and nearDC. You're very thoughtful and empathetic. Your posts are a pleasure to read, insightful and well put together.
I agree with nearDC that having the gastic bypass surgery need not be viewed as a negative. I've had my stomach banded - I know that what you had done is a more invasive surgery and it takes courage to make a decision of this magnitude. One that will impact your whole life .. for the better! (PS You know you're courageous too right?) 
Sometimes - I wonder if those of us who have known what it is to 'be heavy' sabotage our opportunities for happiness and success in relationships? I know I sure have ... it is very tempting to stick with what I know, rather than try to view myself through someone's else eyes: someone worth having.
Very well stated, Meri75.
Emme, I agree with what Meri75, nearDC, and Hazmat have said in their posts about you. Your posts are reflective of a strong, insightful, intelligent, thoughtful, compassionate, honest, independent, and caring woman.
Do you have too much baggage? Nah, I don't think so. Everyone has baggage, whether they'll admit it or not. It's a matter of whether it's tucked away in a closet where it can't ever be seen or dealt with, masked/veiled by happiness but not truly shared or dealt with (which makes it a roadblock), or actually something a person chooses to deal with and not allow to become a deterrent to moving ahead. You see, acknowledge, and deal with yours, which means in the end, you're going to be much happier than most of the people you see on the boards here, imho.
I think that sometimes the weight of the responsibilities that causes some baggage gets kind of heavy, and it makes it hard to see and accept the good that others see in us. I think, too, that when the same message is received over and over, we start to believe that this is the way it's always been, so this is obviously the way it's always going to be. I know I have this problem, but I'm working on it and I'm trying to get better at this whole thing. You are too, and you've done so much!
I'd have a very hard time believing that you are wasting your time, Emme, and I really believe that there's a guy out there who is going to be totally blown away when he finally gets to meet you, and you're going to feel the same way when you meet him. Have faith in yourself, see the good that we see (and I can guarantee that others see), and keep at it.