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Wow that's a lot of information to take in...not because it was long but because of what you went through. I'm sorry for your situation because I can see how much of a struggle this is...after all, she is STILL your sister.
Well it's hard to say what I think is right for you to do in this situation. I personally, always need closure on things. ALWAYS. I've been through some trying things myself and found that I was very torn and didn't have inner piece until I got the closure I felt I needed. Once I got the closure, it was like a weight lifted off of me and I felt like I could let it go and move on. However, sometimes I didn't always get the closure by confronting the person. In instances where I either couldn't or didn't want to deal with the person that put me in the situation, I would find another outlet to get the same result. A few times, I have written letters..lengthy, time consuming letters that were written as if I was planning to give them to the person but in the end I didn't give it to them. I was able to release my anger and frustrations through the letter and that was enough for me. Another time, I sat in silence and mediated an actual conversation with the person, allowing myself to feel all the anger, sorrow, pain etc during that mediation, even crying. But in the end I said I was releasing it all and forgiving them. This gave me inner peace. But not everyone is open to meditation so that might not work for you. Sometimes going to counseling can help in these types of situations too. Or maybe write her a letter and actually send it to her.
Your sister didn't intentionally mean to hurt you. I'm sure she is riddened with guilt about it. And in the end, you can lay your head on your pillow at night because you were a good sister to her. Your sister sounds like she is in a terrible situation and years of abuse like that can really mess with a person's mental state. She is a broken person. None of this makes her actions right because what she did was awful. I would just make sure you didn't confront her in a confrontational way and more from a place of peace, understanding and without anger because any negative emotion won't get you anywhere and won't solve anything for you in the end.
Deciding whether to confront her for closure, depends on what you're looking to gain out of it. Is this for yourself to move on? Is it to try to rebuild the relationship with her? Because like I said above, you might be able to get the closure within yourself without actually confronting her. But if it's because you want to see if the relationship is salvageable then that's a different story.
Whatever you decide, just make sure it's a decision you can live with. Imagine yourself at the end of your life, looking back on this and make sure you have no regrets. Would you be okay with how things ended with your sister if they were left like they are now? Would you be okay with never having a relationship with your sister again?
Hope this helps...good luck!
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