Insecure people push limits...case in point...my young teenage interns. I expect it of them and I also hope that they grow and develop into secure people who don't feel the need to do that anymore.
Insecure people? Teenage interns? I think pretty much every person I have ever worked with has pushed to see the limits of what they can and can't get away with at work. Even good employees. A different kind of example I've heard....is that when test pilots get into a new flight simulator the first thing they will do is almost immediately crash the simulated airplane. The reason being they're pushing to find out what the limits of the aircraft are. I don't see this testing of limits as inherently a bad thing....but it is the responsibility of each of us (or a manager at work) to have and set them.
Incidentally, for me these 'limits' in a relationship are mostly felt, determined and communicated 'in the moment'. When something is done or said that feels wrong then I'll just communicate that somehow in the moment, rather than trying to set 'ground rules' ahead of time.
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