Sorry I can't offer any advice (I'm not a parent, so don't feel qualified!) but I do say "kudos" to you for being the bigger person and not bashing your ex in front of your children. I know of too many parents who have done this and, like you say, poisoned their kids' minds against the other parent. And it stinks that it costs so much to take legal action. Hope you come up with a solution soon, for your sake and the kids'.