- View Single Post - A little profile help please.

D_Lion

Sage

Join Date: Aug 2008

Posts: 11,030

It’s the women’s feedback you need, but here are my thoughts:

“Be an equal partner in building the relationship. Will communicate their feelings, thoughts and desires honestly and openly,”

I do not favor profiles which have in them a list of requirements for the match to meet. It sounds like bitterness and unresolved baggage from past relationships. I prefer to see profiles where she is presenting herself in a positive manner, by using the tone of her communication to convey her emotional health and readiness for a romantic relationship.

You can communicate this same idea without sounding like you’re describing what was missing in your prior relationships by rewriting this so it is instead in first-person voice and presented as favorable characteristics you possess.

Here you are looking for a list of things which everyone ought to have. I favor a profile tone which assumes all matches will possess these fundamental prerequisites, and therefore the actual words in the profile can be used to describe you in a way which will induce specific matches to want to get to know more about you.

“I can't read minds and my crystal ball is broken.”

This sounds negative to me … again, baggage.

“There are also many other things I care about”

Trite. How many profiles have you seen where a woman wrote “I’ll tell you later,” or “become my friend and find out?”

Just describe some core values and goals you have in a positive way; do not give in to the urge to have an exhaustive list … it isn’t a resume.

- July 4th, 2009, 02:09 pm