|
|
My long distance relationship ex broke things off with me 5 months ago, in a very bad way (we were scheduled to go to Arizona for a vacation...she canceled on me 2 days before). Since then she's made tiny efforts to de-alienate us, but she wasn't exactly nice in those emails and so I ignored her.
Recently I removed her from my Facebook (took me long enough) and she reacted. She tried to get me to contact her, but I didn't. So she blocked me (unfriending and blocking are different). That caused me to react...I'm not sure why.
So I foolishly emailed her, spilling my guts. Even though she was the one who burned our relationship to the ground (she canceled and broke us up because I didn't call her enough, but never voiced her concerns. It was just all of a sudden "I'm not going"), I told her I still think about her, too much. So I had to remove her from my facebook.
She replied with a very kind email, and then said she was going to be in town in August and September, and she'd like to see me. Not to try to be friends or mess with me, but because seeing me one more time will help her "remove the rest of the hurt."
I sent back a not so kind email, because at one point in the relationship, I snooped in her cell phone and found some bad texts in her phone, to her ex. Calling him "sweetie" and "i miss you" and "i want to hug you!"...all while we were in Vegas on vacation together. He sent her texts like "I want to lick you!" and "you should be in my cube right now." I never came clean, but decided if we were gonna attempt to fix any kind of relationship, I had to get that monkey off my back. I told her about the texts she sent him, but didn't mention the texts he sent her. I wrote in the email that I know snooping is wrong and I am not proud of doing that at all.
She replied that I don't understand her and she see's nothing wrong w/ those texts, at all. She said what I did was unforgivable and it makes her want to throw up. We fight it out and finally I ask myself...what is the point? We aren't getting back together. So why fight? So I sent one more email saying I'm sad we're over, but lets just leave it alone.
She came back saying sort of the same thing...but still wants to meet?! Why would she still want to meet? I told her I violated her trust. I gave her all the "I'm not mad at you" mushy "I miss you" already. Why does she still want to meet?!
|