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Hey man, I don't know if I am too late with this post, but you are in what I liked to call in a "Man Collection". I am not sure of your age, or where you live, but I am in Gen X in Australia, and this term is now a big part of our Australian society. Too many times have I been hopelessly dragged into the 'Man Collections' without realizing it, thinking I was being nice, in turn, my energy being drained for no intensive purposes.
The reasons (without being sexist, as the female collection exists also):
1. With the massive influx of romantic comedies, trashy mags, and Sex And The City, more women today, not all, have become incredibly insatiable, especially Australian women who are very independent, when it comes to relationships, and have now become 'self-esteem junkies', constantly needing to be reassured at a higher than usual rate. As this rises, it is rare for a dude to be able to cope, including other things such as the high stress of modern living, job pressure etc and coping with such high demands of a relationship, which ultimately will lead it to fizzle, as a good female friend of mine unfortunately found out after recently losing her boyfriend for these exact reason.
2. Man or women collections are terribly damaging to whoever is in the collection. Especially if they have then have had feeling created from this false way these people are made to feel about the other party. Woman Collections are more obvious usually because most guys use the, "Treat Them Mean To Keep Them Keen" policy and is most often usually about sex, so any strong word from a best friend usually snaps the woman out of it (woman are smarter and listen to advice). On the other hand, women are sneakier with collections and use mixed messages to confuse the man, and is usually about self esteem and spiritual needs, keeping the man thinking if they stick around, they dreams will come true, or "The Mermaid Syndrome", which obviously this woman has done to yourself unfortunately.
3. This woman obviously needs you for the energy or spiritual requirements she needs and isn't getting anywhere else, including for filling her maternal needs by hanging out with your daughter, and making her feel part of your family, so she feels wanted and loved, especially by a guy she can keep at arms length. The most likely reason this happened was because you told her you liked her in the beginning, and she marked you down as, "If I don't have anything, I can rely on him cause he likes me' category. Most woman who find out a guy likes them, will usually bail, but the ones who go away and come back usually have agendas. She placed these boundaries so she gets 100% of your attention and energy, but when things cross the line, she can pull out and withdraw. And also, if you have never seen this bf, most likely the dude doesn't exist.
4. Unfortunately, nothing will change, and if they do, when someone has needs that require a collection in the first place, it means if you two were to be together eventually, then you most likely will find yourself in another collection with some other guy. In my mind I think collections are as bad as cheating, even though nothing is physical.
5. Finally, dude, you sound like you have the heart of a saint, and you have a daughter, so you have already passed on your legacy, and its time for a bit of 'you' time. The longer you spend sending energy her way without getting it in return, the longer you'll resent not moving on quicker. Your priority is to break the man collection and move on, but prepare for some fallback. Our spiritual energy we give to people can be like a drug, if you do it slowly, you can maintain the relationship. If you make her go cold turkey, make sure you are prepared for some backlash.
Be good my friend, and find someone who wants to be with you from the start, not a constellation prize.
JD
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