Jedi,


I think we all have an epiphany at some point as we begin to try to make sense of our life without the other half (our spouse) who made us whole. I'm not sure there is anything "wrong" per se about how you have proceeded, just that the important thing is that you have been trying to move forward. There are some very positive points you have made in your post:

1. You have discovered relatively early in the current dating situation that a serious relationship is not what you need right now - this is good because neither you nor she have a lot of time invested so far. Think about how awful it would have been for both of you had this epiphany been another six months to a year in coming to you.
2. Realizing that you don't want a rebound relationship is more than half the battle in preventing one from happening.
3. Your EH membership has not been a complete waste, because I know there are a few friendships that have been forged here - if you had never joined, we would have never met nor become friends, and we would have missed all the input and insight you have contributed to the boards here on EHA.
4. You have recognized that you like and need to be with people and have some good ideas of how fulfill that need - the vacation ideas sound great - reconnecting with old friends can be so helpful in the healing and growing process.

All of us are bound to make errors and course corrections as we navigate this uncharted territory. I believe none of us on this board have never lost a spouse prior to this, so we are all learning and helping each other find our way. You have recognized the need to make a course correction, developing a better knowledge of self is part of the healing process. How can you really expect to choose a mate if you have not truly assessed your needs and desires?


All of this is really good and actually healthy, but the part that maybe doesn't feel so good is that while the epiphany may have to come to you overnight, the actual transition takes a little longer. We need to be patient with ourselves and allow ourselves whatever time it takes us to get through it. And, it is good to have friends and family for support along the way.


Keep your chin up!