Have you been listening to Led Zeppelin's "Communication Breakdown" on the iPod again? This is not a case of communication breakdown. As you have said it is a motivation problem. I'll have to side with Tantalus on this one. If he wants to change he will. As long as he is enabled he won't. Even if he does manage to pull out, what is to say he won't get unmotivated in the future and thus leaving you to finance the relationship?