Relationships are never 100%-- agreed. My boyfriend and i have been dating for almost a year and we are perfect for each other in terms of compatibility. We are so in love and he brings up marriage all the time. The problem is he lacks any form of initiative when it comes to getting his life back on track. Granted, hes not a drug dealer, criminal or whatever you may be thinking...he is merely a 24 year old waiter with little motivation to make something better of his life. Oh, and i hasnt gotten his license back yet after 3 years of not driving from a DWI. There are other things as well such as not having any credit history and still living at home...How am i supposed to marry someone who has no degree or doesnt know how to pay bills?
This is a topic i haveshed tears over and am honestly sick and tired of bringing the topic up. I constantly get the response, "i know. i will," and all i need to see is him get up one day and go online to research schools ormerely budgeting/saving his money without just spending it on food and drinks for us. He just tells me that he needs me to push him, but im 21 and have my own stresses and issues to deal with in terms of school and whatever else. I can't mother him around and tell him what to do for the rest of his life even though i have no problem helping him. I have no more energy and i can't seem to bring myself to break up with him when i know we are so compatible. I need some serious advice.
-Lindsay
If you really feel you are compatible, you may have to resign yourself to the fact that you will be the breadwinner/driving force in most aspects of your relationship. Will you resent that years from now? When I was your age my boyfriend of 12 years relied on me for everything; he rarely had his own car and quit his jobs whenever someone made him angry. He had a great sense of humor though and could clean a house like nobody's business. I got tired of always carrying us though, so I had to end it.
After a miserable marriage some years later (I'm 48 now), I have met a very nice man (48 years old as well) who treats me so much better than my ex. He has a great sense of humor and is very supportive emotionally. The reason it won't last? He has no ambitions or desire to be anything more than a truck driver (and not the kind that makes alot of money -I have to pay my way or sometimes BOTH of our ways when we go out), hewas married and divorced twice and now lives with his mother. We haveSO many other things in common, but I can't go down the road again of being the one who carries everything. It's sad, but I know what I have to do.
Let me know what you decide, but really think it through (fast forward 20 years....)