I usually ask for a phone number after about two e-mails, when I've learned more about her than what's on her profile. What happens sometimes is that if you spend too much time with online communication, you build up unrealistic expectations of that person and are sometimes disappointed when you actually meet them. So I don't move towards communication outside of eHarmony right, but definitely within a short time after. I've never had a woman object to giving me an outside e-mail or phone number.