I don't like to play games. If you're sure you love him then you should tell him so.
I don't like to play game because I suck at it. I don't know the rules and I don't even know how to play it.
So I thought honesty would be the best policy and I will just be myself....and.....well I didn't say I love him but expressed my interest.
Then he lost interest in me. Before I had any interest in him he sent me endless mesages, emails, with sweetest words possible.
Then I talked to my girl friends about this and all their answer was....
"J*******, you need to play the game. All the guys say they don't like games but they play it.
That's the only way to get a guy"
Well, too bad, I'm doomed. I suck at the game. Someboy please write out a rule book and hand it to me. Then I will know.
So... me, no, I will never say it first. Cuz.... Im chicken and if it's a game that I am destined to not win, I will at least reserve my feeling.
I hate to say it but, I met a wonderful girl here on e-harmony- we corresponded for a couple months, met (as we lived nearby) and had a torrid soulmate love affair that lasted about 3 months- one mutually felt and irrepressible.
Then I made the mistake of venting my feelings to her totally during a love session and from that moment on things started changing- simply because I said "I Love You", and later that she needn't go home as she could stay. We were both 57 years old and supposedly mature enough to handle a real relationship.
To make a long story short- she dropped me within a month after my birthday over-nighter with her- she got up left in the morning and never even looked back. No discussion or arguments. She simply said a really emotional time had come for her and and things were "probably" moving too fast for us. She needed time to be alone. Then dead silence for 3 months. Then a get lost e-mail which I couldn't believe came from the same person asking me politely not to try to contact her any more.
From my viewpoint, my mental and physical health suffered greatly (in the hospital 3x for stress related ailments including heart arrythymias)I was unable to function and meet a book writing deadline and I am still in the throes of denial, hoping she'll come back.
I learned from her never to say "I Love You' verbally before marriage and will never again. Everything including sex may be okay before marriage, but the two words love and committment must be avoided at all cost. After 4 months of silence I've learned they are toxic to even soulmate relationships.
It's a shame, but sharing your true feelings comes at considerable risk- even in the protected environment of online dating-relationship making. The game players are everywhere- do what you have to do to protect yourself, no one else will.