For many years eHarmony has had a question on its profile about the last book you really enjoyed. Periodically we get emails from users who say, “Who READS anymore?! Why is this question here?”
I know that the percent of Americans that read books is not in line with consumption of other popular media like film, TV, and music, (Although e-books are raising the overall number of books read) but I’m curious about whether book consumption is important to you, along with these other questions…
1. Do you see the books a person reads as more or less important than the movies they read, the music they like and the television shows they watch?
2. Do you think that reading books are any indicator of intelligence? In all honesty, do you perceive a difference between a person who reads pulp romance novels and a person who watches pulp romance television?
3. What matters more to you a) That a person reads at all. B) That a person reads books that you admire or approve. (Let’s set aside the crazed person that lists Mein Kampf as their favorite book.)
4. Do you read books as a matter of habit?
Gian Gonzaga, Ph.D., Senior Director of Research & Development
Grant Langston, Senior Director of Content, eHarmony Advice
Jeannie Assimos, Managing Editor, eHarmony Advice
Erina Lee, Director, Senior Research Scientist
Heather Setrakian, MA, Researcher
Emily Maywood, MS, Researcher
Jonathan Beber, Researcher
Becky Teraoka, Corporate Communications
Whether a person reads or not is hugely important. Please keep this question in your profile list. I like the comment that reading is an aquired skill. Watching TV or movies is entertainment. Reading regularly and what a person reads gives great insight into their personhood. Also, choosing what to place in this space as an answer speaks volumes about their interests and sometimes their values.
Elroy
I’d love to meet someone who can cherish a good read. As with anything, moderation is always key and you are what you read/see/eat. Does reading signify someone being more intelligent? Don’t know, but you gotta know what you like/love in a person. Myself? A good book on the beach with a cool drink and my mate by my side is my vision of heaven!!
I’m interested to know what men read. I was talking to a man a while ago and i asked him who was his favorite author. He said Thomas Pynchon. I was impressed! That is a quality author that i have yet to tackle. That man is definitely on my radar now.
I think it is a must to be matched with someone who reading for pleasure and not just work. It tells me that he can actually sit still for awhile and concenstrate on something instead of having to be “entertained” all the time. It let’s me know that he can really stop and “smell the roses”.
1. Do you see the books a person reads as more or less important than the movies they read, the music they like and the television shows they watch?
Without a doubt!
2. Do you think that reading books are any indicator of intelligence? In all honesty, do you perceive a difference between a person who reads pulp romance novels and a person who watches pulp romance television?
Absolutely!
3. What matters more to you a) That a person reads at all. B) That a person reads books that you admire or approve.
It is VERY important to me that my potential partner enjoys reading similar books to me. I love to read and this shows me that we have yet one more thing in common. It also tells me that this person is willing to learn and expand their mind.
I like knowing that if our relationship is in trouble this man can pick up a book and brush up on his techniques if needed.
4. Do you read books as a matter of habit?
I read books because it sooths me, it feeds my soul, it helps expand my mind and awareness, and it allows me to escape ‘reality’ for a while. TV leaves me feeling agitated while I find reading peaceful. We could all benefit from some quite time.
1. Do you see the books a person reads as more or less important than the movies they see, the music they like and the television shows they watch?
I think what they read is much more important. It usually shows what really interests you rather than what entertains you.
2. Do you think that reading books are any indicator of intelligence? In all honesty, do you perceive a difference between a person who reads pulp romance novels and a person who watches pulp romance television?
Maybe it isn’t an indicator of intelligence but I think it is definitely an indicator or the depth of a person.
3. What matters more to you a) That a person reads at all. B) That a person reads books that you admire or approve. (Let’s set aside the crazed person that lists Mein Kampf as their favorite book.)
It matters more that they read at all.
4. Do you read books as a matter of habit? I do. I always have a book in my purse for if I’m waiting in line some where orjust have a few moments to myself. I also have a bookcase full of books I am trying to get through.
Yes, reading is important and it indicates
intelligence. If a man does not read serious, important books count me out.
I would definately want to be with someone who reads. With the exception of some really weird or prejudiced material the content doesn’t matter so much as the fact that they read.
Because I spend quiet time reading I would love to find someone who did as well. I would love to know that my date didn’t feel excluded from my attention. My ideal quiet evening would be sitting on the beach, next to my man with a Long Island Ice Tea, two good books, and a blanket. That sounds just heavenly.
For me, it is completely important that he reads.
Someone who reads? Absolutely important!
1. Do you see the books a person reads as more or less important than the movies they read, the music they like and the television shows they watch? More important. Most TV is geared to an eighth grade mentality. Music is important, though also.
2. Do you think that reading books are any indicator of intelligence? YES!! In all honesty, do you perceive a difference between a person who reads pulp romance novels and a person who watches pulp romance television? Pulp romances don’t count as serious reading material!!
3. What matters more to you a) That a person reads at all. YES. B) That a person reads books that you admire or approve. (Let’s set aside the crazed person that lists Mein Kampf as their favorite book.)YES.
4. Do you read books as a matter of habit? Always! I read everything- books, cereal boxes, maps, magazines, newspapers… I’m a book junkie.
at one time reading was my favorite thing to do. nOw I only read for information and knowledge. not really interested in books “for fun.” in fact not at all. No i do not even own a TV. i no longer have the view if you read books you are inherently more valuable. I could put a bunch of BS titles down but why?
From my experience; it’s doesn’t necessarly measure someone’s intelligence. It’s more of a commonality thing. It would be a positive thing for me because i enjoy reading. But I’ve met some pretty inteligent people who reading may not be their forte. For some reason I have more girl friends who enjoy reading vs. male friends. I’m just “saying”.
It is hugely important that they read; I tend to believe, perhaps wrongly, but I’ve never seen it wrong, that people who don’t read are not as well informed or as intelligent as people who read.
Much more important than the TV they watch or movies they watch.
Reading stuff that is idea driven is important, if all they read is romance novels, no deal, not interested. Though, I’ve recently read some para-normal romances that were quite good. (I’m a guy, they were free on my nook, I read two in the series, quite good.)
But they need to read something for professional development and something for ideas. As a Christian, I want to know they read the Bible and ponder it and that they read other Christian books.
Yes! Reading is a must-have in a potential partner.
Verbal ability- both written & spoken- is an important part of who I am. Therefore, to connect with me mentally and emotionally, a guy needs to have a love of (& facility with) language. He doesn’t have to be a “smooth talker” or “quick of tongue” as long as he is quick of thought & can verbally spar with me (at least in e-mail or texts).
While a date/ mate need not be as avid a reader, having a basic literary repertoire at his (mental) fingertips is rather essential to understanding most of my humor.
In great books (like Pride & Prejudice, Jane Eyre) and in life, it’s all about the “dialogue!”
Enjoy every moment; PUNCTUATE your LIFE!
-Lizzie
Lizzie!I like everything you said! Right On!
1. Neither more or less, but just as important.
2. No difference – I read everything from Harlequin romances to Anthropology. Sometimes you just want to escape and sometimes you want to learn something.
3. That a person reads at all.
4. I almost always carry a book with me. and may have a couple on the go at the same time.
Knowing if a person reads or not and something about what KIND of books they read is another piece of the puzzle that is them and, yes, it’s an important piece, at least in my case. I look at what a person reads as sort of an invitation to “guiding their thought”. What they choose to read, they allow to take them down a certain thought path. I think it also shows that they still attempt to be in touch with their imagination. Reading teaches patience, as well. I could go on and on about the benefits of reading a book…
Other media are not the same: reading books stands alone in this regard.
I can honestly say I do not read. Going back to school to pursue my law degree, last thing I want to do is read more than I have to.
I read allot of online content to keep me informed with current facts around the world, but even when I wasn’t in school, I prefer to buy books and download them to my Ipod and listen to them since I travel allot and it is much easier to listen to them, than carry extra luggage around.
YES it matters so much!! i automatically close matches who say “i don’t read.”
reading is a sign of intelligence. if you say “i don’t read right now because i’m in school and working two jobs” or something like that, that’s fine. but if you just plain don’t read at all, that’s a major red flag to me! i want a guy who is a life-long learner who reads. no reading = closed match.
It is very important to me that my partner enjoys reading. It isn’t about intelligence. It tells me that he can relax on his own. It doesn’t matter what he enjoys reading, but similar reading interests would be more fun. Someone who reads is more apt to consider other points of view in the world, and (I think)it leads to personal growth.
1. Do you see the books a person reads as more or less important than the movies they read, the music they like and the television shows they watch?
The important thing is that they read – I’m sorry, but movies, television and music don’t demonstrate the same level of ability to focus, pay attention, or concentrate. Popular movies and TV (in general) are designed to attract people with short attention spans. To really love reading, you have to be willing to commit to something tangible for a fairly long period of time.
2. Do you think that reading books are any indicator of intelligence? In all honesty, do you perceive a difference between a person who reads pulp romance novels and a person who watches pulp romance television?
I would give someone bonus points for reading as a hobby in general; what they choose to read will either add points or deduct points, depending on the degree of thought required to complete the reading. Someone who occasionally watches pulp romance TV would not be a big deal; someone who knows the intimate details of every character on whatever soap opera is left on TV? Big problem!
3. What matters more to you a) That a person reads at all. B) That a person reads books that you admire or approve. (Let’s set aside the crazed person that lists Mein Kampf as their favorite book.)
A would get someone in the door; B would be a factor in determining compatibility. And “approve” isn’t really the issue here; it’s more “admire” or “enjoy.” “Approve” smacks of control, which is never attractive!
4. Do you read books as a matter of habit?
Yes, but not in a mindless, lack-of-forethought/choice way. I read books as a matter of choice about how to spend my leisure time, and because reading is an enjoyable hobby, it is my habit to read, rather than to watch sit-coms on TV or garden or do laundry…..
Whoever dies with the most books, WINS!
Yes, it’s important for my matches to read. Not as important that they read the same things I do, but is important that the have the discipline of reading words on a page. The attitude that “I love books! They are so decorative” is such a turn-off.
I’m always drawn to a new friend’s bookshelves. The variety of books they read inspires conversation, piques interest, keeps me curious about them.
If a persona doesn’t read it is not a match for me,period.
Reading means nothing. The titles mean a lot!
Reading is important, even if it’s just a magazine, or a how to book.
Having that question is a very nice feature… and if someone feels like they need to lie about the books they are reading in order to sound more intelligent it will be clear very quickly that they are not as smart as they are trying to sound.
I read so I can write better, relax at the end of a long day, escape reality, and have something to talk about with my friends (most of whome love to read as much as I do).
Please keep it as an option… (by the way I have a feeling that (mostly)only the readers are going to be reading this article and therefore this is going to be very one sided… lol.
1. Books are more important than movies,etc. Its a conscious decision to invest that kind of time, so it matters more I think.
2. I think reading is more active and stimulating method than TV.
3. It matters more that they read vice what they read. Some people are just not that into reading – they learn better in other ways. Also: If they have a job where all they do is read (med student, lawyer, judge, editor) then if they don’t read after work its more understandable.
4. I do read books as a matter of habit and wish I had more time to do so.
I am a woman in book publishing. Lots of female singles in that industry! And lots of rueful dating stories shared. Here’s how my publishing friends summarize a date with a non-reader: “He had to read a book once. It was in high school.” That’s what the non-reader tells you after he finds out you work in book publishing. It’s also when you know this date will not be a success: he starts acting as if he’s out with an exasperated schoolteacher, and you start to think of him as, well, not very interesting.
That leads me to a related topic: almost illiterate writing. You don’t have to be amazing, but why not try to be coherent? Spellcheck can’t hide all problems but it sure is a good start–spend the extra five seconds! Seems like those who need it most use it least. It’s hard to date a man who’s been through a “devorce” without learning how to spell it. Or who enjoys “fine dinning.” (Does that involve excessive noise?)
Sorry–I know I’m being awful, but I hope I made you laugh, at least.