“I've never been married, though I was engaged once back in college ...but that ended back in 2001. I'll be completing my masters Dec. 2008. While I'd like to complete my ten years where I'm working at now (after I graduate it'll only be 2.5 years left)... for the right guy, I'd be willing to move before then.”
“I like to think of myself as mellow and friendly. I have solid priorities but respect people of all backgrounds. I've always been proud of the fact that I count among my friends conservatives, liberals, republicans, democrats. The variety can be a little challenging but also extremely rewearding. I feel very blessed!”
“A curious introvert. I've been around the world on mission trips and for work, but most weekends I prefer to sit home with my cats, a cup of coffee and a good book. I've worked as an Interpreter for the deaf in public schools, a robotics programmer, and a janitor. I absolutely hated English in school but now I write (one book of poetry finished and one fantasy novel looking for a publisher/agent.) I'm not good at creating art but I do appreciate it.”
No matter how you look at it, breaking up is never easy. If you happen to be the heartbreaker, you can make it easier on your soon-to-be-ex by adhering to a few simple rules.
Every broken heart has a heartbreaker. You may not want to admit it, but it’s true. It’s also true that some heartbreakers are more graceful than others. But how do you spurn someone gracefully? There’s no easy answer, but we want to offer a word of advice that seems to have helped many who want to sever the ties to a romance without shattering the other person’s heart. The advice? Make it a clean break.
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“He just doesn’t get it,” we hear heartbreakers say. “What do I have to do, spell it out for him?” Yes! You do. You may think the humane thing is to hem and haw about the issue, or that maybe a gradual series of disappointments will do the trick. You think that if you make the other person miserable he or she will break up with you. That’s emotional terrorism. It whittles down the other person’s self-esteem to zero.
The best approach is to be honest and direct. That doesn’t mean you say your piece and disappear like the Lone Ranger. But it does mean you send a clear message: This romantic relationship is over. The key is to communicate this message in the context of compassion. How do you do this? First of all, communicate it in person. That may sound obvious, but you might be surprised how many people say “good-bye” on the phone, sometimes even through an answering machine. We know of one relationship where the heartbreaker actually had his sister tell his girlfriend the relationship had ended. If you have any decency, you can’t break up by absentee ballot. So to make a clean break, be honest and be present.
I am in a dating relationship where the expectations are building, but my partner cannot tell me where she thinks the relationship might be heading. We have been dating for about a year, and I want to know. She got mad when I asked; she just wants to maintain the status quo. We started our relationship agreeing to just date for a while. But, it is now getting comfortable. I think we are taking each other for granted. I have to be honest: I really like spending time with her, but there have been a few flags and I do not feel like this is heading anywhere for me long term. It is causing me to think about dating someone else. But I do not feel good about doing this behind her back. I am thinking I need to break it off, but I am scared by how she might react. Any suggestions?
Any suggestions for how to break it off after the first date and you've agreed to a second? I agreed to a second date before the first date ended. Things were going great, then he wanted to engage in a makeout session...a little fast for a first date (I think). I now don't have such a good feeling about him, and want to tell him I have changed my mind about a second date. There are some areas where we don't necessarily agree, such as politics and religious background, which I value as important. I thought about using those as reasons. I just don't want to be mean, he was a nice guy, but made me really uncomfortable at the end of the date.
Hi Denah:
Trust me, he isnt' worth getting stressed over. Find someone more compatible. There are so many single men in your city that are compatible. Keep searching.
from Haruo
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