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What it Means if He Doesn't Call

He seems interested, but then you never hear from him again. What are the reasons behind his frustrating actions? Read on for the answers! Brought to you by Christian Carter

What it Means if He Doesn't Call
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How many times have you waited too long for a man to call and ask you out again after you had an amazing time together? He seemed truly interested, but then you never heard from him again. Why does this happen for so many women? And what does it mean about men?

Here are the 5 most common reasons why men don’t call back, even after a great date:

Reason #1: He’s Having Trouble Being Honest

If you and a man hit it off, trade numbers, talk for a while or trade emails, but he never seems to make the initiative to actually see you – then something else is going on. Men often have a hard time sharing the truth about their feelings with women they’ve just met. Maybe he’s already seeing someone else. It’s fine to casually ask in a playful way, “I’m curious since you’re kinda cute -- are you dating anyone interesting right now?” Invite honesty from men and you’ll get it. If you wait and wonder, you’ll end up wasting your own time and energy.

Reason #2: He’s Just Looking For a Fling

If a man really likes you, but he is more interested in a casual encounter and senses you’re not that kind of girl, he’ll move on -- partially out of respect for you (or his own selfish desires). In either case, the timing is off. Not calling you back was his way of letting you know where he’s at without having to say it directly. Take heart -- in this case he’s actually doing you a favor by not calling.

Reason #3: He Was Just Being Polite

Have you ever given your number to a man who asked for it, all the while dreading the idea of ever talking to him again? Men do something similar with women. Sometimes men can enjoy a conversation with you but not really be interested in anything more. In this case, a man was just being polite by asking for your number.

Reason #4: He Lost Interest

He was interested in you at first, but something happened along the way to change his mind about you. In this case, maybe he sensed some anxiety from you that he didn’t know how to figure out or handle. Or maybe he sensed a bit of desperation (“You’re going to call me, right?”). Communicating either anxiousness or desperation early on before a man knows you is a sure attraction-killer. Relax. If he’ll call he’ll call. If not, you know he wasn’t the right one at the right time.

Reason #5: He Lost Your Number or Forgot to Call

Yes, sometimes this really happens. Men lose your number and can’t call. Unfortunately, when it does, some women fill their heads with all kinds of not-so-happy stories that don’t make them feel great.

Now with these 5 reasons, what do all of the situations of how a man behaves and whether or not he calls have in common?

For starters, none of these 5 reasons have anything to do with who you are as a woman. If you don’t know it yet, it’s your choice to give the situations you come across with men the meaning you want. Here’s what I mean by that: 

If you’re criticizing yourself because a guy didn't pick up the phone and call you right away, you might end up feeling hurt or confused. And the next time you do get on the phone and try and have a casual conversation with that man, or another man, that confusion or fear comes across in lots of subtle ways. When this happens often times the conversation just won’t feel right to a man. And here’s the thing -- men can sense this whether you know it or not.

If you can choose to make more positive meaning for yourself with the things you don’t yet understand about men or dating, odds are just making this small shift for yourself will have big impact on your success and finding and connecting with the right man.  And if you’d like to get more free tips and find out about the programs I’ve put together over the years that have helped thousands of women -- single and in relationships -- and you think there’s something to having a man tell you the inside scoop on what men are really thinking ...

Go here and check out my free emails and tips:

CatchHimAndKeepHim.com

I’ll talk to you again soon and best of luck in life and love,

Your Friend,

Christian Carter

This article was written by a site sponsor. eHarmony does not necessarily share or endorse the views expressed in the article, but eHarmony does welcome different perspectives on relationships from sponsors and users alike. Please share your comments below and on our message boards.

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73 comments on “What it Means if He Doesn't Call


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Posts: 3

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Its simple NOT INTERESTED
- February 25, 2009 08:10 PM

Posts: 5

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I believe that two people can begin dating or getting to know each other and then one or both realise this is not whatthey expected or want in their lives. This in itself is fine. It is at this juncture however, a person's true mettle is revealed if they are big enough to separate themselves in such a way as to not hurt or disillusion the next party. Many men seem to think silence speaks volumes (sorry guys... not being biased, this is just the angle from which I get my view). Or worse yet, a cold shoulder or abrasive behaviour. I always tell my girlfriends his actions speak about him - not about you. Do not use his mistreatment to self evaluate. Thank God for the timely information, give yourself time if you need it, but then move on!
- February 24, 2009 05:56 AM

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BSchorr wrote:
As a guy, I totally disagree. This article makes it seem like men are scared, out for sex, up to no good or have poor memories or just totally unorganized. Sometimes there are other morelegitmate reasons why a guy may not call.And the last time I checked, the phone works both ways. Food for thought: You've got to be a friend to make a friend.
Sorry Crazy, but if I really like a girl and I have her number I'm going to call. I'm not saying you have to call every 10 minutes, but if you get a girl's number and you like her then you call. There aren't any excuses not to that don't involve comas and hospitals. -B-
B from Hawaii is right on. If a man wants me he will find me through resourcefulness, guaranteed. I have never had a man in love with me or extremely interested, who would pout and expect me to pursue him. I do call my male friends equally. I do not do so with a romantic interest. Experience has taught me that most men prefer this. I know this sounds gendered, but really, for me, it kills the attraction if a man would expect this (but not voice it) in the early dating period. However, this is behavior I would definitely display if we were monogomous and he clearly expressed his desire for it. If this annoys the men who said they expect a call if they do not call the woman, ask yourself, "Would you really be turned on and into a woman that pursued you?". I believe some men will feel this way, but most won't. And please...don't hate me! Just being straightforward. Peace ~Remmie
- February 24, 2009 02:33 AM

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