Reasons you Shouldn't Marry

Before you tie the knot, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. Check out 5 reasons why you shouldn't be getting married.

by eHarmony Staff

There are a lot of great reasons to get married – the most important being that you are in love with your partner and want to join as one in a legal, lifelong commitment. On the other hand, there are also a lot of reasons why you shouldn’t marry. If you’re thinking of settling down with your partner, make sure it’s not for one of these five reasons!

1. You Think It Will Save Your Relationship

Unfortunately, many people think that getting married will “settle” their partner down and make the relationship better. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is out until all hours of the night, doesn’t call home or will not settle into a comfortable routine, you may be thinking that marriage will settle him or her down. The truth is that a wedding ring will not suddenly turn your rambling man or woman into a dedicated homebody. It will also not make any problems you may be having better – in fact, it’s more likely to make them worse.

2. You’re Getting to Be ‘That Age’

Is there a marrying age? Many people feel pressured to marry when they get to a certain age – whether it comes from our social ‘norm’ or from friends and family. There’s no cutoff age for marriage! These days, it’s perfectly normal and acceptable to marry at any adult age. If your friends and family are starting to give you that questioning look, just let them wonder. Get married when you and your partner feel it’s the right time and when you’re both excited and ready to start a life as husband and wife.

3. Financial Reasons

If you’re thinking about marrying your special someone for financial reasons, think again! This is definitely not a reason to get married. If you sit down and think about it, you would probably have more money if you get married, as most couples have two sources of income. But marrying for money reasons? It has trouble written all over it. Don’t start your marriage on the basis of dollar signs.

4. You're Trying to Hang On to Your Better Half

Many people have made the mistake of getting married in order to keep the one they love close. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave, cheat or be single, a marriage license is not going to stop him or her. If there are already problems in the relationship that are causing you to wonder whether your partner will be around, there will likely be problems in the marriage, as well. You simply can’t hang onto another person who wants to be let go – wedding band or not.

5. You "Owe It" to Your Partner

There have been countless relationships glued together by guilt. If your significant other is a wonderful partner who is caring, kind and considerate, you may think that he or she deserves marriage, whether you want it or not. Your partner may deserve to find happiness, but so do you. If marrying will not make you happy, don’t do it. You will be doing yourself − as well as your partner − a favor.

Getting married should be about love, a conscious decision to stick with your husband or wife, and happiness. A marriage borne out of one of the five reasons above should never happen. Determine what your motivation is and make sure it’s not one of the reasons above.