Making the Love in Your Life Better

Creating powerful, loving relationships often translates to a richer, fuller life. Tapping into what makes people special can strengthen your existing relationships and make it easier to create new ones.

by eHarmony Staff

Making the Love in Your Life Better
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Do you sometimes find yourself yearning for an increase in the amount of love you experience? Would you like to take your love gauge – that digital adding machine somewhere in your psyche – and just turn it up a few notches? Would you like to experience more love intensity from more people with more frequency?

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We all desperately want to feel better and better about ourselves, and we long for relationships in which we feel this way about who we are. After my nearly forty years as a clinical psychologist, having seen over 7,000 separate individuals in psychotherapy, eHarmony has concluded that the fundamental motivational principle for all of us is our desire to feel deeply good about ourselves.

And most of us are confident that when we get our love relationships in the right shape, we will indeed start feeling good about ourselves. We reason that it’s simple: If we get loved right, we will feel good.

Here’s where it gets tricky. It is a thousand times easier to form satisfying love relationships when we are released from the emotional straitjacket of trying so hard to get ourselves loved. The secret to growing the love in our lives is to learn how to help other people feel genuinely good about themselves in our presence. When they do, they will automatically love us.

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eharmonyadvice

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Creating powerful, loving relationships often translates to a richer, fuller life. Tapping into what makes people special can strengthen your existing relationships and make it easier to create new ones.
- October 08, 2008 10:33 AM
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