“I've never been married, though I was engaged once back in college ...but that ended back in 2001. I'll be completing my masters Dec. 2008. While I'd like to complete my ten years where I'm working at now (after I graduate it'll only be 2.5 years left)... for the right guy, I'd be willing to move before then.”
“I like to think of myself as mellow and friendly. I have solid priorities but respect people of all backgrounds. I've always been proud of the fact that I count among my friends conservatives, liberals, republicans, democrats. The variety can be a little challenging but also extremely rewearding. I feel very blessed!”
“A curious introvert. I've been around the world on mission trips and for work, but most weekends I prefer to sit home with my cats, a cup of coffee and a good book. I've worked as an Interpreter for the deaf in public schools, a robotics programmer, and a janitor. I absolutely hated English in school but now I write (one book of poetry finished and one fantasy novel looking for a publisher/agent.) I'm not good at creating art but I do appreciate it.”
As human beings, we are made to feel physical attraction. It is one of our most powerful mate selection criteria. Much of eHarmony’s philosophy regarding relationships has to do with placing physical attraction lower on our list of selection criteria, because when looking at “long-term” relationship success, physical attraction doesn’t rank very high.
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In other words, when talking to couples that have been successfully married for many years they rarely list “physical attraction” as one of the core issues that has led to their success.
In addition, it’s a sad fact that today in society people often use physical attraction as their “only” gauge of whether to pursue a relationship. This notion is reinforced constantly by our media and leads to large numbers of shallow, dysfunctional and ultimately failed relationships. Having said all that, we do believe that physical attraction is germane to a healthy, successful relationship and discourage relationships between two people who get along great, appear to be compatible and yet have no “spark.” Building a great relationship without the excitement and attraction that comes from Little Physical Attraction = Deal Breaker? is impossible.
Remember, a “great person” is not a “great person for you” unless they meet your needs and desires in a partner. You needn’t feel guilty about your lack of physical chemistry with a person. In fact, you’re acting compassionately by letting them know you’re not attracted, (gently, no need to be blunt here) so they can find someone who does find him or her physically appealing.
Shallow is only an insult if you allow it to be.
If physical attraction being the most important thing to me makes me shallow, then I will gladly hit my head on the bottom of my own metaphorical swimming pool. I will take being happy with an attractive partner over being unhappy with an unattractive, anytime.
As long as there is physical attraction, other things can be negotiated.
I took a leap of faith when I made it to open communication with a woman who did not post her photo. After several phone calls she agreed to post her photo and said she didn't photograph well. The photo was at best average but her voice and personality were beautiful so I decided to meet her for lunch. When I met her for the first time I was floored by her looks. Whether or not it was from our conversations and emails that colored my perception, she was absolutely beautiful to me. The relationship did not last but I now at least read thru a profile without a photo before I close the match.
Nice....how not to "Shallow Hal" of you.
*wink* *grin*
Hoo Knew!
ichoosetosmile1968
Hi All,
I was married to a great guy for 10 years who when I first met him he didn't set off those "fireworks", years later I met him again and it wasn't his looks that captured me but his heart. We were married for 10 years and we were happy up until his passing in 1996.
I have since been out with men who I was physically attracted to and then nothing came of the relationship because they did not share the same values, or wanted the same things in life that I do.
Physical attraction is one thing but should not be the be all and end all, afterall good looks can fade but a warm giving heart does not.
Best of luck in our search for everlasting love and happiness.
[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-smile.gif[/img]
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