I'm an Angry Person

Songryder, antidepressants are NOT indicated here! They tend to make anger WORSE. Obvously, OP needs therapy to address why he/she is so angry all the time. That said, if possible, focus on what you WANT out of situation. Obviously, you can't do much about being cut off in traffic, so it's best just to let it go. But when you are angry at work or in a relationship, if you focus on the solution, rather than the anger, you are more likely to have a positive result. Me, I'd rather remove the source of my anger by solving the problem than indulge my anger. Anger feeds on itself, so it's important not to feed the beast. I'm not saying you shouldn't feel anger. Anger is a valid emotion and it's there to protect us. But if you just focus on the anger and not at what's causing it, there will be no end to it. I have a temper, and I'm not ashamed of it. I'm glad that I have the ability to go 0 to 60 in a second. It's a useful tool in my toolbox because sometimes (rarely) the situation warranted it. This is why I've never been successfully mugged. And a temper comes in handy when dealing with UPS or my friend Julia. Some people only respond to rage and will continue to screw you over if you're nice. However, MOST of the time, losing your temper is NOT efficacious. When I get angry, I'm always thinking about how to solve the problem. Since losing one's temper does not solve most problems, I generally don't lose my temper.

I read an interesting book lately - Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately by John Lee. Although I can't say that I necessarily agree with everything he says, the main point I do agree with - we have to learn to deal with our anger appropriately. What this means is that weneed to be able to recognize when our anger is a result of something that just happened (that person who cut us off in traffic) or whether it is indeed one of those deeply rooted cumulative chunks coming to the surface. Basically, if the level of anger doesn't seem to match the seriousness of the infraction, it's probably not the incident that's the problem - the incident is only the trigger. And the author also says that there is a difference between what's appropriate and what is acceptable, as society dictates. The one thing he stresses is that we should not try to supress our anger as it will just keep building up and eventually will erupt, but we need to address it when it happens. Yes, it's nice to know the whys, of course, but that should not be our sole focus - at least according to him. I'm still processing it all...

You'd be at the bottom of my Christmas list and at the top of my Hit List.