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Miss April just joined eHarmony a couple of months ago. She lives on the West Coast and is over 50 years old. Here's what she wrote in to our experts regarding her About Me:
"I would love some help. I am an older lady, so this may be a BIG challenge for you. In real life, away from these sites men date, even marry older women, but here they appear to focus on younger ladies.
I am attractive for my age. I work HARD at this. I also still enjoy sex, and I have tried in a ladylike way to express this. Some ladies my age go "ugh" when you even mention the word.
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Let this be a challenge to you all. Helping an older lady. Are you up for a challenge?? Older ladies still need love and companionship and even more as I have mentioned!!"
April 2008 eHarmony Profile Makeover
1. What the experts say:
Not the best of starts, Miss April.
Try to avoid clichés like the first line. They are so generic that they are essentially meaningless. After all, they can be interpreted very differently by different people.
For one person, "living life to the fullest" could mean jamming every day full of appointments and to-do lists. For another, it could mean being completely unfettered by a calendar; it could mean going with the flow and seeing where the day takes him/her. What does it mean for you?
Ask yourself some real questions that get to the heart of this statement. Does “living life to the fullest” mean traveling to exotic places or does it mean constantly rediscovering the town you live in? When you meet new people do you just enjoy the moment or do you actively pursue the friendships further? What exactly are the things that make you feel alive? How precisely do you take life by the horns? Be specific. That doesn't have to mean long-winded. It just means choosing words that are clear and meaningful. Say what you mean.
You may also want to expand on your second point. How do you meet these people? Are you out on the town each weekend? Do you take classes? Do you meet people online? Give a real glimpse into your lifestyle.
You may want to also describe what’s behind your passion for diversity. Is it fueled by a curious nature? Is it "the student" in you that always wants to learn? Is it a desire to understand yourself better through how you relate to someone different?
Getting deeper and asking yourself some tough questions may feel like a challenge but it typically will help create an About Me that really stands out as intriguing and textured.
2. What the experts say:
These give a terrific, well-rounded portrait of who you are. They cover the intellectual, the physical and your personality. Great choices!
3. What the experts say:
Clean this up ASAP. The grammar and punctuation are a bit odd. For example, in the last line, remove either "age" or "years" – having them both reads as grammatically incorrect.
Remember that one of the top complaints on the site - from men and women alike - is bad spelling/grammar. It can be an instant turn-off. It's too often viewed as a sign of carelessness or lack of intelligence – neither of which is attractive. And in this answer, it’s particularly important because you are trying to convey how much you value education!
You may also want to share a line or two about why there was a gap in your schooling. People can assume several reasons but, if you are comfortable, why not just share the actual reason?
You could also perhaps share what you studied. That is, if it gives a real flavor for who you are. Seemingly little details like this can be an easy way to build rapport so consider including them where appropriate.
4. What the experts say:
These qualities are well chosen because they show range and are active. They hint at traits that extend beyond fixed personality traits. They also give matches a sense of your high energy level and aesthetic/intellectual inclinations. They give matches a sense of not only who are you but what you do.
The fact that two of the four things relate to strong communication skills give matches a strong indication that this is a critical part of who you are. It is easy to infer that good communication is also important for you in a relationship.
You may want to consider combining these two related traits into one of your four points. It's not absolutely necessary but you could buy space for one more thing to highlight that'll help you stand out from the crowd.
Perhaps your openness? Your sense of humor? Your passion for education? It's up to you though.
5. What the experts say:
What a terrific, detailed answer! Bravo. Gives a great sense of your intellectual curiosity, your coping skills and your refined interests! Provides a nice snap shot of you as a very intellectually stimulating person.
6. What the experts say:
The more focused you are on what kind of relationship you want to find on eHarmony, the more success you are likely to have. So the point you make here is critical. However, we’d suggest you use more positive language.
Instead of setting up the case scenario you don’t want, focus on what you do want. Something like this would work nicely: “Trust is linked to honesty and both form the foundation of a loving, committed, joyful relationship.” See the difference? Using a negative tone – in life and in your About Me - will likely garner a negative reaction. Whether it’s conscious or unconscious, it's typically what happens.
By keeping the tone positive (in your profile, during open communication and on face-to- face dates) you will be perceived as more attractive and desirable. As you would expect, psychological studies show that we are much more likely to feel attracted to individuals who exude positive attitudes rather than negative ones.
Consider doing a bit of similar tweaking in the last line. The word “expect” can be very loaded - especially in romantic relationships. A positive spin could be: “I am an extremely honest person and am looking for a partner who shares this genuine, straightforward nature.” It’s a subtle change but the devil is often in the details.
Always remember, your matches may be scanning several profiles at once. They may even be comparing your About Me to someone else’s. They are looking for clues into your personality and relationship style so they are not just reading your words. They are reading into your tone as well as reading between the lines. You always want matches to view you as loving, open and supportive. So keep that tone positive throughout.
7. What the experts say:
Great thing to highlight about yourself. Remember to keep the tone playful and positive.
Can you see that you are in a way stereotyping Brits (stodgy/uptight) and Americans (fun/friendly)? Rethink how you want to communicate your personality in more positive terms.
And make sure to completely copyedit and clean up your answers. There are a few errant commas and interestingly, your spelling of “realise” gives you away as British since Americans use the "z" not the "s." You may want to change this since it will likely be read as a misspelling by matches. Try to limit the capitalization since it can be viewed as yelling online.
8. What the experts say:
This seems very personal and important to you. Earlier you referenced “meeting new people, from different backgrounds, different cultures” and also revealed you are not a native of the U.S.
We encourage you to give a bit more detail here. Why is this so important to you? We bet the answer is an interesting one that could help you stand out from other matches.
9. What the experts say:
Strong answer once again. It’s rich and gives a real flavor for what your interests are and what your life looks like.
Take a careful look at punctuation, spacing, spelling and grammar in this lengthy response. You may want to either write all fragments or write all sentences. Keeping the format consistent will aid readability and comprehension.
10. What the experts say:
Simple but powerful things to highlight. Good job! 
11. What the experts say:
Great first line. However, not sure what you mean in the last line. Are you referring to a concept in the book? Rework this so it makes sense to someone who has not read the book.
12. What the experts say:
Might want to remove “but I won,t [sic] intentionally hurt anyone.” Flip it to the positive: “I tell it like it is but am always tactful and considerate of people’s feelings.”
What do you hope to convey with the last line? Do you want to create a sense of commiseration with matches? You may want to be careful. It might read a bit “sad/jaded single” as is. Consider repositioning it as “While dating can be tough, I love meeting people and enjoy making connections of all kinds.” You don't want to come across as someone who is going to focus on dating sob stories on a date.
13. What the experts say:
This is a fine answer but consider how these traits are unique to you. Many people are optimistic or friendly. Think about how to convey these traits to distinguish yourself. Show, don’t tell, in your writing. You could give quick examples of behaviors/actions that show these qualities in you.
This answer does a good job of portraying you as a very vital, vibrant woman with a dynamic life. However, the use of “sexual” twice might be redundant. Sensual might be a better choice to follow “loving.”
You may want to reconsider highlighting sexuality so prominently in your "About Me." Take a look at our guest moderator John Gray’s advice to women over 50. It might provide some insight that you may not have considered before.
One final tip to consider from the experts:
Think about your "About Me" profile as a living document. After all, each one of us is constantly learning and changing based on new experiences. As you spend time on eHarmony and communicate with matches, you will inevitably learn things you didn’t know about yourself. You will likely refine what you are looking for in a mate when confronted with matches that you feel aren’t quite right.
Take the time to actively tweak your profile to reflect these lessons learned. Many couples who have found success on the site tell us they were constantly looking at eHarmony as a process of self discovery. Finding a partner was made possible by really delving into themselves first and foremost. Make sure your About Me profile accurately mirrors where you are at each step of your journey.
If you would like input on your About Me, simply post a comment below with a short description of why you would make the best profile makeover candidate and an eHarmony representative will contact you.
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