Alec Greven: How to Talk to Girls

We talked with 10-year-old author Alec Greven about his bestselling book, How to Talk to Girls, and got his unique perspective on what to look for in a partner!

by eHarmony Staff

Alec Greven and his book How to Talk to Girls have both become a nationwide success – and it all started when he wrote the book for a school project! The teaching staff and school librarian were so impressed with his work that they sold it at their book fair, where it quickly became the top seller. When a local news program covered the fair and Alec, folks took notice and it wasn’t long before he was sitting down to talk about relationships with Ellen DeGeneres and signing his first book deal! He has followed the book up with two more, How to Talk to Moms and How to Talk to Dads.

From how to meet that special someone to what to look for in a girl, here is Alec’s insightful take on relationships:

On how to know if a girl is interested in you:
“This is elementary stuff, but if she smiles at you a lot or if she does more nice things than she usually does -- if you start seeing that, you might want to ask her if she likes you. But be very careful because you don’t want to do this if you aren't sure ... only when you are pretty darn sure she likes you!”

How to approach a girl:
"I don’t really believe in those start-up (lines). I think you should just walk up casually and just say hi, like any person would do. If she says hi back then you are off to a good start. Then you can ask her a  question or something. If you are shy, try to go for a talkative girl, you don’t have to say much and she will do the rest of the talking!"

How to deal with a breakup:
"I say life is hard, move on. That could seem a little mean, but really you have to get over it and then -- why don’t you just try with another girl? Some people are like, 'I am a horrible failure' … just move on to the next."

Important qualities to look for in a partner:
"I think you should look for yourself in her more. I think you look for similar qualities you have and things you have in common. Really, you want a girl that likes the same things you do."

On pretty girls:
"Some pretty girls -- all they care about is how they look and themselves. I think regular girls can be prettier than a pretty girl. Regular girls have other things on their minds."

How to keep a relationship going strong:
"Keep doing things with her. When you are a kid, take her out to the movies. When you are older, take her to dinner or to a fun place she likes. Talk about things she likes. You can talk about things you like but you kind of want to keep her entertained."