Your Body Image Match: It May Be Different than You Think

I am sorry, but any one who thinks that a few extra pounds or curvy means...fat, is seriously mistaken. I put curvy/few extra pounds on my profile because that is what I am. I have a large chest and about 10-15 extra pounds. I am not the least bit overweight, but I want to be completly honest. I get SO mad when girls are dilussional about thinking they are so "curvy", when they are obese...it makes honest people like me appear unattractive to men who arn't looking for someone who doesn't care about their health and appearance.
I am not attracted to overweight men, heroin thin men, or muscle heads...I just like a truley average build, like me

I agree with most here in that it is not the body size but the image they have of themselves. I have never been attracted to a skinny man, ever. It's not to say it wouldn't happen if he had all the other attributes that turned me on. We can always state our preferences but in reality, when love hits us between the eyes, we just might surprise ourselves.

roguewolf1: That is reality; good post. I prefer a petite woman who is on the thin side.

Great post!
Just wondering though -
Why do you think that petite woman is not that excited about dating you? Do you suspect it might have something to do with how you view her, and the rest of the women around you?

wrote :
The part of this article i disagree with is that it's all up to you,that your image of yourself will dictate your image to others.I don't care what somebody thinks they look like,when i look at them i see what i see and it is not subject to anyone else's opinion,having a good self image is necessary to weather the storms of life but there is still a thing called free will and others have it to..these articles seem to say that you can go out and cast some kind of spell driven by your own ego and the other person will just fall into line.

When_I_See_You_Smile: I agree with you, Bandmate. :) Regardless of how positive your self-image is, not everyone will be attracted to you. That's just the way it works.

That is reality; good post. I prefer a petite woman who is on the thin side.

Rob_UK: tosh...utter rot. If you go around talking to yourself then the "man in the van" will come for you. The simple fact is: put down the fork, step away from the pie and run your fat self around the block. Just more denial phrases.

yes some men will prefer a podgy woman but they are probably podgy themselves :(

This is true. Most women are in denial and so called "experts" are getting fat off of writing:

"...you can walk around confident that no matter who you are and what you look like, your soul mate will see you for who you really are—and love you for it."

Saying it's ok to stuff your face, that someone is going to love your folds. Pure trash. That's like a dating "expert" writing that women would find mature men who work at Mcdonalds "exciting."

I've found, truly, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder--regardless of the size. For instance, I was engaged to this guy who was the best looking guy I had ever dated and yet he thought he was ugly. I could not convince him otherwise but there we were. We broke up and a few boyfriends later this other guy told me "if you realize how pretty you are, you would leave me". And I'm like.... what? I was not created with a small frame, no matter how much I dieted when I was young I would never have the delicate ankles and slim hips. I have my mother's hips--wide. I finally came to the conclusion that this is simply the way God made me. I had even considered have my hip bones surgically modified in order to make them smaller. Isn't that crazy? Speaking of crazy, I left the other guy because he was just too jealous and told people he was engaged to me when we were not. Total nut job.

Then I married my husband who was into the heroin-type look and I certainly wasn't that. He also liked the short hair, and mine was over two feet long. Well, after that he came to appreciate the soft, fullness of a woman's body and long hair. We divorced but once hooked, he still looks after that type.

My point is that we change our tastes and desires over the course of our lives if we broaden our scope and be willing to date outside of our 'ideal'. In this way, we come to appreciate the physical qualities in others that we had been missing. I remember when I was on this rigorous diet, and I was single, two groups of men (those at my homegroup and another at work) debated on my body size and to NOT lose anymore weight. They debated among themselves but I could hear them. They were all married but clearly they clearly preferred the 'meatiter' type even though they loved their wives dearly. It was pretty funny listening to these two groups of men debate about whether I should lose more weight!

JMHO :rolleyes:

I was talking to an older guy I worked with a while back. He was tired of hearing his wife complain about being heavier than she would have liked (please, no lectures here about how easy it is to be thin despite age...).

His point was that he thought she was beautiful, and always had. What he said then has stuck with me over the years.

"Honey, I grew up on a farm, and I learned that a skinny cow is a sick cow."

Great thought, but I advised him not to tell his wife he loved her because she looked like a fat cow... ;)

Gee I like skinny girls. Closer the bone the sweeter the meat
:) :p :cool:

qqtpie: ...

Of course I won't date an overweight guy now that I am a good size. I am afraid he would drag me right back there. This is so much more fun, and easier, than being overweight.

"Of course"?! Could you be any more shallow? Now that you're slimmer, the good-hearted but overweight man is no longer good enough for you? Is your commitment to your new, healthier, habits so weak that dating a heavy man is going to knock you "off the wagon"? How do you know that your success and enthusiasm wouldn't inspire him to change for the better?

What a tragedy this is.

I'm attracted to girls, with a slim, but not too thin figure, toned but not muscley, basically healthy and with a well-proportioned figure