How the Dating Game has Changed
It’s not your mother’s date anymore. Your dating code of behavior has evolved from the rules and traditions of yesteryear to a more liberated movement.
Advertisement
You Can Make the First Move
Fortunately, men are no longer on the hook for making the first move. Currently it’s commonplace for women ask men out, pay for the date or go for the goodnight kiss. You are considerably more independent than your mom’s generation, allowing you to make the first move without the risk of wagging fingers or gasping onlookers. As the traditional view of the modest lady-in-waiting fades, you can take the lead and ask for what you want. After all, you just may get it.
You Can Have It All
Nowadays, it’s not unusual for a woman to "have it all.” With financial independence, burgeoning careers and growing gender equality, women can work, stay fit, volunteer, fill their social calendar and still date the man of her dreams. Nowadays, juggling the bevy of responsibilities just makes you a well-rounded, driven individual that is more likely to have interests and a life of your own. In the words of Chaka Khan, you can be “every woman.”
You Rely on Technology (Maybe too Much)
How did anyone ever get along without cell phones, e-mail and computers? Technology advancements have certainly made your life easier, but it has also changed the way you communicate. Technology is so ubiquitous in present-day life that some now elect to text or e-mail, rather than talk or meet. When communicating electronically, your intentions can be lost in translation given that the person isn’t right in front of you. (Then again, Mom didn’t have the luxury of screening her calls).
Take a cue from simpler times and get back to basics after the initial introduction. Turn your phones off, meet for coffee and put in some face time.
You Can Meet and Greet Online Online
dating didn’t exist when Mom was on the prowl, so meeting people was a lot different then. Your mom was dependent on introductions and social functions for seeking out relationships. Traditional nightspots and work environments still offered potential dates, but the old standby wasn’t exactly unique. With the evolution of Internet dating, folks now get the opportunity to see what’s out there without actually being out there. Meeting people in neighboring cities has never been easier, while a certain sense of prescreening is encouraging to those who are apprehensive. You have just multiplied your odds of meeting that special someone by utilizing this electronic resource.
The “Ticking Clock” isn’t Quite as Loud
With people meeting and marrying later in life, families come later, too. It isn’t uncommon that women and men will complete their education, climb the corporate ladder and obtain property before getting on with the happily-ever-after. The good news is that you generally know yourself better as you age, understanding your goals and defining your priorities. Therefore, you can relax and take your time, as your mate will complement the mature and authentic you.
Looking for a Great Relationship?
Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.
RSS
96 Comments View this thread in our community
pinz
February 4,2009 at 07:49 am... bumping again ...I've been noticing that some are raising the SAME questions/issues on the main dating board ...
pinz
December 13,2008 at 08:18 pm... bumping this up again ... there's gotta be someone else THINKING about this stuff 'out there' ...
pinz
November 25,2008 at 01:49 pm... bumpin' this topic again, it's coming up again on the main 'dating board' ...
.... hope it might help the wondering ...
pinz
November 9,2008 at 08:17 amOk, bumpin' this thread again for 2 reasons. One reason is serious, the other ireason s funny (but kinda weird serious too...).
Reason One.) Canadians have been following the tragic story of the run-away youth, Brandon Crisp over the past few weeks. The 15 year old ran away from home mid October after his parents argued with him about his increasing 'addiction' to the XBox game, 'Call of Duty:4'. He was discovered a few days ago, dead in the bush, alone. Apparently he fell from a tree.
There are a few elements in this story worth noting:
1) The video game Brandon was an on-line player with was 'rated' "M" by the Entertainment Software Rating Board, indicating that it's not suitable for children under the age of 17 ...
2) Microsoft became involved in ther 'cyber' rescue search, and offered $50G for news of Brandon's whereabouts. Because it is an on-line gaming 'community', there was a possibility that Brandon would have 'hooked up' with a felllow gamer. (Microsoft owns/sells the Xbox gaming systems and are likely terrified of the 'lawsuit' fall-out from parents with addicted gaming children ... )
3) Chris, Rowan, a pediatric occupational therapist with expertise in child technology addictions, wrote in the Globe & Mail over the weekend , " Elementary-school children use an average 6.5 hours per day of technology (TV, video games, Internet), excluding school use. This excess has resulted in physical, mental and behavioural problems that health and education systems are just beginning to detect, much less understand. Developmental delay, conflict disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, autism, attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, sleep impairment, and learning disability are but a few of the common diagnoses assigned to the 21st-century child. Prescription of psychotropic medication for children is on the rise.... "
Relative to this thread, I would say that boys and girls who grow into adults with a background of this kind of heavy 'media' use are less likely to feel comfortable or 'engaged' in a 'normal' social environment, like sitting around a diningroom table and sharing a meal with family or friends. THis 'anti-social' behaviour quickly compounds and becomes an intergenerational thing that further isolates and re-directs or forces 'human interaction' THRU technology, not face to face. Everything becomes 'fractured' and all want to become 'Masters/Mistresses' of their own little 'techno-connected' Universe. This can not be good, can it?
Apply this to the 'dating scene', and what do you get? Alot of 'yuck', from my p.o.v.
Second Reason) There is another story that made 'headline news' recently. A Japanese man is seeking to make an amendment to Japanese law to allow him to marry a 2D cartoon character. He reasons that he 'lives' in the 2D world, and is not happy in the 3D world. He is petitioning to 'change the law' to include 2D 'beings' .... No joke. For real. This story is not only 'funny', but sad, and also sort of pathetic and sick, from my p.o.v.
We are 'losing' our Selves, becoming increasingly 'cyborg'ized, and fractured. We are giving up our OWN imaginations, becoming increasingly isolated and alienated from each other. We are being not only deluded but seduced into thinking we CAN 'master the universe' through our 'media machines' .... hmmmmm ...
Has the Dating Game 'changed'? You betcha.
Thoughts?
pinz
November 4,2008 at 02:12 pmSee? Didn't work. 10 minutes have elapsed and it hasn't popped 'up',yet but it is HERE, even though you are listed as the last poster on the board .... It does seem to EVENTUALLY get up, but by then I'm usually off the thread, so, any response/dialogue is potentially 'lost' ... arg, a tad frustratin' to be sure. Catchya later.
pinz
November 4,2008 at 02:08 pmHi Neardc, The 'glitch' I was/am experience seems very erratic. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. I've let eHa know about it now and hopefully they'll look into it. My posts were posting, but the post was not registering on the 'main board', meaning, I was not 'registering' as the final poster on the thread ... Whatever. eHa blues. I'll 'test' it here again ....
Btw, any thoughts about the 'time' thingy I mentioned ? Just wondering ...
neardc
November 3,2008 at 08:23 amI'm not sure what you mean by a post "registering" on the board. I have had the problem of my post not appearing at all, and no message that the post is being moderated -- it is just gone; perhaps that is a related issue. I reported it several days ago, but have had it happen again since then.
pinz
November 3,2008 at 05:36 ambump.
Sidebar query: Anybody else having the erratic 'problem' of posting but not having the post 'register' on the board? The post comes up in the thread, but does not register on the board ... I've contacted eHa about it to see if it's particular to me, or if it's just another techno-glitch ... Anyone else?
pinz
November 3,2008 at 05:29 amWas thinking about the whole issue of 'time' the other day ...
How we MANAGE our time alone and together.
The technology feeds our alone time with multiple distractions/diversions/scintillations and enticements ... We are ever 'eye-hungry'. Images and 'other' opinions fill our minds.
WHen dealing with another person on a regular basis it can get 'boring' in comparion, cuz, primarily that other person is 'finite', not 'infinite' as is the PROMISE of technology ...
We hunger.
Thoughts?
pinz
October 27,2008 at 02:54 pmYes, fundamentally, it's about the change in the perception of 'family' ... women can now CHOOSE whether they WANT to have a family or not ... In our parents generation, that wasn't really an option ... This, in turn, has changed the way men perceive women ... The fundamentals of 'relationships' have changed dramatically, primarily because of 'birth control'. Women now have control of their wombs.
We COULD just not breed altogether, and leave it up to science to produce the required off-spring to sustain the human race ... Then 'sex for sex's sake' really would be the be all end all of male-female interaction ... I personally think this has diminished the 'sexual dynamic' profoundly. And yes, I said DIMINISHED.
Other things haven't changed at all. Time, for example, is still TIME. The technology gives the 'illusion' that time is 'speeding up', but really time is no different then it was 1000 years ago. The technology gives us the sense of 'instant interaction', which, again, is both true & false. Yes, YOU & I can communicate very quickly 'here', or even by telephone, but in REAL TIME, it would take a heck of a journey for either of us to sit opposite each other and have a good ol' fashioned chin wag. The things that prevent us from doing that in REAL TIME is money and motivation. Travelling thru space takes time, we'd have to decide to either take a plane, a ship. And money determines if it's a private jet or cramped quarters on a cargo freighter ... Yes, the the technology has made it 'easier', but again, fundamentally, things are STILL the same as they've always been. Ask any boat refugee about their 'journey' to 'civilization' ...
It kinda represents the dichotomy in 'relationships' too. The tecnhology gives the illusion that it's all 'here & now', but again, physical connection is still governed by the laws of physics. Our thoughts may travel at the speed of light thru fibre optics, but the actuality of 'communicating' IN PERSON means we have to get off our butts.
I am increasingly a follower of the 'slow time' movement. I am determined to maintain QUALITY of life, not QUANTITY of life. I LIKE to cook, for example, even though I know there's no real NEED for me to do so now with all the availability of 'fast food' at 1/4 of the price it would take to make something from scratch. Again, it's an illusion of 'convenience', cuz as you say, most of the centre island shelving in grocery stores is packaged food with reduced nutritional value. Fresh produce takes longer to gather and prepare, but in terms of your health, it is 100 times better for you. Eating well, in turn, increases your overall health and longevity. Simple concept, but a hard sell in this JIT society we find our Selves in today.
My Self, I REALLY like how old world Spaniards live. They have a long day, but a very FULL day: start early, break for a LONG LUNCH of several hours to include family & friends, and then work again until 7 or 8, then ENJOY the evening after that. Of course, it's not practical as long as we, in North America, follow the TIME Rules of the Industrial Revolution and our 'consumer society', where we are virtual slaves driven from dawn to dusk to make enough money to spend on products that are totally unnecessary for the supposed betterment of our lives, like 'perfume' or a 'Benz'. We incorrectly believe we are 'defined' by these THINGS. Those THINGS don't make your CHARACTER. It IS possible to 'step away' from that kind of lifestyle. O'sure, you may have to forgo the 'Benz', but seriously, what a small thing so you can ENJOY living and life.
o' tis all a wonderous thing that we struggle with daily - 'to BE or not to be'- that truly IS the question ...
Post new comment
Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *