Photo #4: You’re Dressed as a Superhero
We get that some people really like to dress up in costumes even when it isn’t Halloween. There are many social events and social circles where this is accepted and encouraged, and more power to people who find their niche in the world. However, while your friends may understand your penchant for dressing like the original Superman at Comic-Con, most people perusing your profile won’t.
We aren’t suggesting that you make an effort to—excuse the pun—disguise who you are. In fact, any person who’s worth your time will delight in your quirkiness. But when you’re putting yourself out there, it’s best to save the fun photos for later on down the road.
Photo #5: You’re Posing with Something Expensive
To give the profile photograph some perspective, you’ve decided it would be a good idea to pose next to your brand-new luxury car. Surely no one will be able to resist someone who’s leaning against a BMW, right? Wrong.
When you pose next to one of your toys or stand in a way that shows off your Hermes bag, you come off as superficial. When it comes down to it, no one wants to be with someone who cares more about things than people.
There is a caveat, however: if your hobbies include tinkering with or collecting expensive toys, it’s okay to include them in your profile picture. Just make sure you are trying to represent you, not your net worth.
325 comments on
“5 Photos that Make you Look Undateable”
I don't think one should be so hard on the bar photos. There could be a wonderful story behind it. I have a bar photo. I'm in the champagne bar, on a cruise ship in San Juan, by myself, for my birthday week. The whole trip was about experiencing "firsts". What if the person is celebrating a new life following recovery from some terrible illness? Photos of people doing something that is important to them, like traveling, camping, signing for the deaf or gardening, are very revealing and should be very attractive to those who are interested in those same things.
- September 13, 2009 02:09 AM
Biggest turn off for me is for a man to appear shirtless in his profile picture. It's like you believe your body is the best thing you have going for you, so you want to show the best you have to offer. And I don't know about other women but I am looking for more than just a hot bod. Even if you are a great guy and have a hot body it's just better left for later. In fact I half expect to see the caption to read, look at me!!.. look at me!!. I don't care how good the profile sounds I will close it.
- September 09, 2009 04:44 PM
The 5 listed tips already are great...but here's more:
6. Glamor shots don't help - It might have been a good idea when you were at the mall, but you will never look that way when we meet you...and we know it!
7. Use well focused pictures - Not having clear pictures is the moral equivalent of using old pictures. Lighting matters too.
8. Current pictures only - Do you think we won't notice the additional 20 pounds when you show up? Use a current picture (taken in the last three months). Let the market decide if they want to contact you.
9. Face, Torso, Body - Remember these three words! These are the pictures we want to see, and without the scenic backgrounds that make you look like an ant. If we can't see you, we can't fall in love with you! (This is from a guy's perspective...but we know that you women do it too! - If that weren't true I'd have 180 matches right now!)
10. Smile! - Give us a smile, eh? Frowning, serious shots don't make you look like a fun person. Everyone likes a fun person.
11. Multi-person pictures are too much work - If you have three girlfriends in the picture please tell us which one you are. Better yet, just crop the picture to you.
12. Save the body parts for dating - Pictures with your boobs hanging out (ladies) or your shirt off (guys) say one of two things: desperate or slut. We'll probably think it's both.
13. Skip the pictures with you and the (pick one or more) - motorcycle, ATV, convertible car, or powerboat. We don't care what kind of expensive junk you, your friends, or your relatives use or have. This is eHarmony - not eBay!
Hope these help you!
- August 11, 2009 01:05 PM
Not an Advice member? Sign up to contribute to the discussion.
Create an account above to save and post your reply. This information is private: only your screen name will be visible to other Advice members.
Advice members, log in to post your reply.
eHarmony account holders: your signup information will not work in the Advice Community. You must create an Advice screen name by using the sign-up form to the right.
Print
Email
RSS
Recent comments on this article
Read all comments