Fitting Room

A couple’s money-management strategy is a comprehensive solution that should be based upon the different variables each brings to the union, such as kids, debt, inheritance and ownership. Common approaches to finances include separate accounts, joint accounts and a mix of the two. But remember, decisions about your bankroll don’t have to be all or nothing. Whether you choose to divide your finances proportional to individual income or split them down the middle in a joint effort, or have the breadwinner donate an allowance, the key is to create a plan that is fair and flexible for both of you.

If you choose to hybridize or isolate completely, identify the spendthrift and the saver in the merger to determine who is best suited for the ruling role – because there must one. Since the saver is probably better with money (and most likely a little more organized), assuming the treasurer responsibility should be welcomed by that person. The spender will most likely be grateful that someone with a little more money sense is taking over. Of course, there’s the possibility that there will be a little resentment that there is a new boss in town.

Divide and Conquer

While a shared account assigns one spouse the burden of bookkeeping and budgeting duties, separate accounts require both parties to retain some accountability while offering independence. Separate accounts allow you to buy those golf clubs or those perfect heels without a permission slip or even approval from your better half. If you are the cautious type, separate finances can render a safety net for the “just-in-cases.”

It’s no wonder why a growing number of couples are expressing some disenchantment with mutual money management. Having separate finances is forgiving, allowing each party to make mistakes or poor choices without draining the other. The separate system admittedly works best for those who have no children, roughly equivalent incomes and an established way to split the bills equally.

There is no obvious or apparent answer to how to divvy up your cash, as you need to decide what works best for you and your partner.However, talking, dreaming and even debating about money with your companion opens the door for communication and expectations and, ultimately, honesty.

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44 comments on “The Case for Separate Finances


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boyd316 wrote:
Here's a scenario I was wondering you guys weigh in on. I've been dating for close to 2 years now. We both live with our parents and I would like to buy a house soon. At this point my significant other would like to join finances. She wants the house to be ours although I would be making most of the payments and have saved a significant amount of money for a down payment. I would like to buy the house and have seperate finances in case we should seperate. While we remain together the house would be hers as well. This has caused many arguments and could be the thing that ends the relationship. I tend to be the saver while she seems to have an unrealistic view on finances. I often get heat for not wanting to go on vacations however I'd like to see her put that money onto her debt. Please help!
Get an agreement before you move in together. You could end up loosing half of your savings if you split. Where I live, if you live together for six months you are considered common law. After that, the "home" is split 50/50 unless there is an agreement. Her debts may be considered yours as well. Money is the cause of many,probably most breakups. It just ended my x's marriage of 8 months. He just pulled the wool over her eyes. I hate to say this, but maybe ending the relationship might be the right thing in the long run. It is very hard if one of the partners is expected to save and be the responsible one, while the other just spends.
- September 13, 2008 10:08 AM

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boyd316 wrote:
Here's a scenario I was wondering you guys weigh in on. I've been dating for close to 2 years now. We both live with our parents and I would like to buy a house soon. At this point my significant other would like to join finances. She wants the house to be ours although I would be making most of the payments and have saved a significant amount of money for a down payment. I would like to buy the house and have seperate finances in case we should seperate. While we remain together the house would be hers as well. This has caused many arguments and could be the thing that ends the relationship. I tend to be the saver while she seems to have an unrealistic view on finances. I often get heat for not wanting to go on vacations however I'd like to see her put that money onto her debt. Please help!
Sounds like there's a subtext to the situation going on that says she's bucking for more committment than you're willing to make. Also, you might want to think about living on your own for a while, rather than each of you going from living with mom & dad directlyto living with a partner. Feels a little bit odd.
- September 13, 2008 07:35 AM

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Here's a scenario I was wondering you guys weigh in on. I've been dating for close to 2 years now. We both live with our parents and I would like to buy a house soon. At this point my significant other would like to join finances. She wants the house to be ours although I would be making most of the payments and have saved a significant amount of money for a down payment. I would like to buy the house and have seperate finances in case we should seperate. While we remain together the house would be hers as well. This has caused many arguments and could be the thing that ends the relationship. I tend to be the saver while she seems to have an unrealistic view on finances. I often get heat for not wanting to go on vacations however I'd like to see her put that money onto her debt. Please help!
- September 13, 2008 04:13 AM

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