They Check Everyone Out

Let’s face it. There will always be other people in this world who are more attractive than your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife. If your relationship is honest and strong, you can recognize the attractive mailman or the cute barista behind the counter without dreaming of greener grass. If your mate is ogling every hot pair of legs or stud muffin physique you pass, however, something is wrong, and it’s not you.

A confident person will expect their sweetheart to treat them as the only one in the room. You can still like the way other people look, but you shouldn’t find it necessary to disrespectfully compare them to your partner.

You Really Can’t Stand His/Her Friends

When your significant other is spending time with friends that aren’t exactly stimulating, you wonder what he or she sees in them. If his friends are annoying jerks who would rather play video games and cheat on their women, then it’s time to rethink your choice. Perhaps your steady has a gaggle of single gals who are drama-loving divas, love the club scene a little too much, or are snooty jealous friends. It should make you wonder what she really prioritizes in life.

It’s true that everyone has one or two friends that are “special” (read: weird) that you have to tolerate. However, if all of your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s friends drive you nuts and these pals have been around since the sixth grade, odds are that the situation will not go away. If your new steady is surrounded by a village of idiots—guess what—your dearest is probably one too.

They Have Nothing Going On

Sometimes this may be regarded as romantic, but if your new mate is really into you (or too into you), it can be a sign that they don’t have much else happening. A healthy relationship is built from two stable people who have their own lives to live independent from the other. Although hard to see in the beginning since you want to spend every waking moment together, pay attention to the plans and dreams of your new sweetheart.

If your mate is waiting with bated breath for the entertainment you bring, sitting by the phone for your next call, or happy loafing around till noon, perhaps they aren’t a mover or a shaker. Most would agree that driven, determined people are the most attractive, and you want to be with someone who is committed to their future. Aspirations will tell quite a story about your intended, so see if your ambitions match up.

So, how will you know if your current love interest the right one for you? Trust your instincts and be receptive to the underlying signs that make you go “hmmm.” Moreover, you must be able to accept your potential partner the way they are, right now. No more time should be needed for maturing or healing—if your sweetheart is right for you, the timing will be right as well.

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90 comments on “5 Relationship Red Flags


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My boyfriend is still in contact with the Ex wife on a regular basis because of the dog. They meet each other twice a week. Text regularly. Should i worry ?
- November 17, 2009 06:09 PM

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In some relationships where there are children between the two parties, there will be communication. The new partner needs to clearly decide if they want to be in this relationship. Problems with children are always going to crop up. But if that communication leads to being present at inopportune times then it is time to talk. Lines need to be clearly defined, as to when, where, and how often-the ex-partner needs to be involved.
- October 27, 2009 03:14 PM

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Exes should not be in the picture. This is asking for trouble. An ex is an ex for a good reason. Just to avoid conflict and respect your new relationship, get rid of an ex as a friend. I don't think it means your partner is jealous or has low self esteem b/c they don't like the idea of your ex. How can you be friends with someone you used to be sexually involved with? So, you have a new relationship, and you are intimate with this person also, and share the deepest parts of yourself with them, and still maintain a friendship with someone whom you previously shared these same things with? Not cool.Your season with the ex is over. Get some new friends! I have had to deal with this ex crap before, and I tried accepting it, only to find he was still in love with her, and she was putting me down behind my back. I have read some people here saying they live with an ex. That is not healthy. Most people don't want to date someone who is living with an ex. That is not a good first impression to give to someone.

- October 08, 2009 07:46 PM

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