Be sure to catch the unfolding logic. We need to be loved. People automatically love us when they feel good about themselves when they are around us. So our challenge is to help other people feel good about themselves every time they encounter us.

There are five principles to making this strategy work. At first, as you practice these secrets, they may seem a little awkward, but we guarantee that before you know it, your new style will become automatic for you. Here they are in a nutshell.

1) Approach every person in your life with an expectation that they have some wonderful attributes.

2) In every encounter with this person, look hard and listen intently for just one of these attributes.

3) If you need to, ask a question or two to lure one of these attributes to the surface.

4) As soon as you encounter one of these attributes, even a hint of one, reinforce it with attention – laughter, appreciation or respect.

5) As soon as you discover how to participate with another person so that, like a school of fish, these wonderful qualities swarm to the surface, catch the rhythm of helping them enjoy their best ways of being.

Some of you are absolute geniuses at this already. We don’t know how you did it, but we offer you our heartiest congratulations. And others recognize a need to build these secrets into your every day lives. It’s exciting to imagine what our lives and our world could be like if all of us could become great lovers of people.

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Creating powerful, loving relationships often translates to a richer, fuller life. Tapping into what makes people special can strengthen your existing relationships and make it easier to create new ones.
- October 08, 2008 10:33 AM


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